Answer: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124278191732237461.html
By the way, the national public forum topic is about US-Cuban relations. We'd've had fun with that one...
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
No one to talk to, so I'll talk to myself
I'm in a free-writing kind of mood, so a lot of this will be rhetorical questions I probably would know the answer to if I'd thought about it enough.
After working in the Darfur Victims Project, you'd think I'd be able to come up with a better bit of perspective than this. 10:00 on a Monday night, and without homework I find myself with a fair amount of "free" time. It's not really free, in that there's only one set of keys for the apartment between Emily and me (and she has them right now), but there's certainly no homework taking up my time. I talked to Steph for a while on the internet, watched some basketball, and am currently the only one in the apartment. As I was browsing pictures on facebook I saw the IB banquet had occurred. I felt a momentary pang of hope for all of the futures of my former classmates at central, and barely resisted the urge to write something I thought was inspirational on the photos of people I haven't talked to in 10 months. Part of me is amazed by what I'm doing (interning at a legit law firm in Newark), but part of me finds myself who exactly I am again. One year after the IB banquet in Missouri, Kim, high school, debate... I find myself sitting alone in an apartment, watching basketball, enjoying my chicken sausage and strawberries, really wanting to have a deep conversation with somebody but not exactly having anybody with whom to have it. It seems everybody's gone home to their friends in their hometowns (people my age) or is staying with friends they've known for years in college (roommates). And here I am, in the name of progress and resumes. And, you know, helping stop a genocide. That too.
I feel stuck somewhere in between where I am and where I'm going. Not where I've been and where I'm going, mind you, but where I am and where I'm going. I'll try to explain. High school, senior year summer, was trapped in between where I had been before and the future. Everything was desperately trying to hold on to Kimberly, working 40+ hours a week at something I knew I'd probably never do again to make money, and just waiting for time to go by because I knew I couldn't stop it. The future was over there, where I had been was to the left, and I was caught in the middle.
Now? I feel as though, after having only had one year in college, I've already sorta got the hang of it. I know I'll become better friends with people, my roommate and I next year will have a blast, I'll go to class, hopefully do well, be amazingly impressed by some of them, hate others, and get grades when it's all said and done. Multiple professors have already told me how much I'm going to love grad school so much more than college. I'm rooming with girls that graduated from Seton Hall today, working with women that will be second year grad students or seniors next year, and getting along with everybody really well. But, come 10:00, I'm, as Emily put it, still "just a baby" and thus don't go out and do bars (plus I have to get up at like 6:30. whoo!). And the people with whom I'd want to go to bars are.. well... I'm not sure who exactly I take. There's a girl in Chicago, a few in Missouri, and guy here or there... but the fast majority of them are, not surprisingly really, 2 or 3 years older than me. Right before the time I'm able to go out with them, they'll be gone. And so we'll repeat. I'm not stuck between where I was and where I'm going. I'm stuck between where I am and where I'm going. Does that make any sense?
Part of me wants to get away. Part of me wants to go home. Part of me wants to go back in time about 15 months to a night right after a trip to St. Louis that is still one of the most meaningful of my life. Part of me wants to fast forward about 2 years, or 5 years, or 8... just to see where I end up with all these new horizons I'm exploring. Strangely, part of me really does like learning more about New Jersey, not getting mugged, standing in dress slacks and a dress shirt at a train station with a copy of the New York Times in my hands and my new Kenneth Cole messenger bag at my side. I'm doing all these amazing things, and I really do enjoy them, but I feel like I'm trying to run just a few steps ahead of life. Not to flatter myself too much, but let's say you graduated high school at age 15. I mean.. it's sorta like... now what? Or college at, for example, 17 or 18. "You've graduated (or in my case, you have a really cool internship!)! What're you going to do now?" Sadly, my answer, at least for the first week or so, has been not too terribly much. I don't know. I'm sure I'll get out of this, and things will be golden, and I'll focus on the positive and realize how much better it is to be here than anywhere else in the world because here is where I am.
Here's to progress.
After working in the Darfur Victims Project, you'd think I'd be able to come up with a better bit of perspective than this. 10:00 on a Monday night, and without homework I find myself with a fair amount of "free" time. It's not really free, in that there's only one set of keys for the apartment between Emily and me (and she has them right now), but there's certainly no homework taking up my time. I talked to Steph for a while on the internet, watched some basketball, and am currently the only one in the apartment. As I was browsing pictures on facebook I saw the IB banquet had occurred. I felt a momentary pang of hope for all of the futures of my former classmates at central, and barely resisted the urge to write something I thought was inspirational on the photos of people I haven't talked to in 10 months. Part of me is amazed by what I'm doing (interning at a legit law firm in Newark), but part of me finds myself who exactly I am again. One year after the IB banquet in Missouri, Kim, high school, debate... I find myself sitting alone in an apartment, watching basketball, enjoying my chicken sausage and strawberries, really wanting to have a deep conversation with somebody but not exactly having anybody with whom to have it. It seems everybody's gone home to their friends in their hometowns (people my age) or is staying with friends they've known for years in college (roommates). And here I am, in the name of progress and resumes. And, you know, helping stop a genocide. That too.
I feel stuck somewhere in between where I am and where I'm going. Not where I've been and where I'm going, mind you, but where I am and where I'm going. I'll try to explain. High school, senior year summer, was trapped in between where I had been before and the future. Everything was desperately trying to hold on to Kimberly, working 40+ hours a week at something I knew I'd probably never do again to make money, and just waiting for time to go by because I knew I couldn't stop it. The future was over there, where I had been was to the left, and I was caught in the middle.
Now? I feel as though, after having only had one year in college, I've already sorta got the hang of it. I know I'll become better friends with people, my roommate and I next year will have a blast, I'll go to class, hopefully do well, be amazingly impressed by some of them, hate others, and get grades when it's all said and done. Multiple professors have already told me how much I'm going to love grad school so much more than college. I'm rooming with girls that graduated from Seton Hall today, working with women that will be second year grad students or seniors next year, and getting along with everybody really well. But, come 10:00, I'm, as Emily put it, still "just a baby" and thus don't go out and do bars (plus I have to get up at like 6:30. whoo!). And the people with whom I'd want to go to bars are.. well... I'm not sure who exactly I take. There's a girl in Chicago, a few in Missouri, and guy here or there... but the fast majority of them are, not surprisingly really, 2 or 3 years older than me. Right before the time I'm able to go out with them, they'll be gone. And so we'll repeat. I'm not stuck between where I was and where I'm going. I'm stuck between where I am and where I'm going. Does that make any sense?
Part of me wants to get away. Part of me wants to go home. Part of me wants to go back in time about 15 months to a night right after a trip to St. Louis that is still one of the most meaningful of my life. Part of me wants to fast forward about 2 years, or 5 years, or 8... just to see where I end up with all these new horizons I'm exploring. Strangely, part of me really does like learning more about New Jersey, not getting mugged, standing in dress slacks and a dress shirt at a train station with a copy of the New York Times in my hands and my new Kenneth Cole messenger bag at my side. I'm doing all these amazing things, and I really do enjoy them, but I feel like I'm trying to run just a few steps ahead of life. Not to flatter myself too much, but let's say you graduated high school at age 15. I mean.. it's sorta like... now what? Or college at, for example, 17 or 18. "You've graduated (or in my case, you have a really cool internship!)! What're you going to do now?" Sadly, my answer, at least for the first week or so, has been not too terribly much. I don't know. I'm sure I'll get out of this, and things will be golden, and I'll focus on the positive and realize how much better it is to be here than anywhere else in the world because here is where I am.
Here's to progress.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Foraging
With my move into my apartment (though not the unpacking) completed, I'm now beginning my first summer away from family. Since the school cafeteria is no longer open, and I have nobody here to prepare/give food for/to me, I came upon a somewhat startling realization. If I don't go buy food (and not just meal by meal fast food, but real food, to eat here) I will starve to death. These were the heavy stakes I had in mind as I went grocery shopping, for the first time ever buy (get it? "buy!") myself, today. The results of the shopping extravaganza at a local (but very large) grocer are detailed below.
Ssps Strawberry Banana Nectars drink, $1.89- I swear, this is like drinking an fruit smoothie. It's so, so, so good. Perhaps a new favorite of mine.
16oz of Strawberries, $2.69- I seriously haven't had fruit in a really, really long time. An old favorite makes an appearance, and it won't be the first time on this shopping list (technically, it's already the second).
Gatorade Fruit Punch, $2.99- for a whole really big bottle too. I was actually surprised how cheap all of this was.
Baker's Dipping Milk Chocolate, $2.69- Personal treat for myself. I now have microwavable chocolate in a small container to dip my strawberries in. Success!
Kellogg's Frosted Cherry Poptarts, $2.89- For in the morning when I don't have time to pick up a bagel. Again, cherry.
Freeds Mini Golden Cupcakes (a dozen), $3.19- Personal treat for myself. Will probably be gone by Tuesday. Little mini cupcakes!
Best Beef Regular Franks (ten?), $4.89- I now have hotdogs. Hot dog!
Sweet Apple Chicken Sausages (four), $5.29- Splurged a little bit on these. They're chicken sausages, which I've never had before, but looked pretty appealing. I passed up turkey sausages, beef sausages, mixed sausages, and probably some other types of sausage to pick these. Hopefully they'll live up to the hype.
Soft White Bread, $3.99- It's soft, white, and bread. Exactly what I was looking for.
Dozen rainbow rolls (sushi), $9.95- The most expensive thing on this list, and dinner tonight. This will be my first out-of-springfield Sushi eating experience. Can't say I'm not stoked.
Squeezable Concord Grape Jam, $2.49- It's jelly, for the bread. Don't even need a knife to spread.
Banquet Popcorn Chicken Meal (12 oz), $3.59- One of those frozen but microwavable dinner things. Popcorn chicken is always a pretty decent option, and one night when I'm exhausted I'll just eat this.
Pure Argentine Honey, $6.49- This was some freaking expensive honey. I don't even know what I'm going to do with it, really (honey and peanut butter sandwiches?). But hey, I've got a jar of top of the line honey. You only live once, right?
Better'n Peanut Butter (it's peanut butter, basically), $5.99- So remember that peanut butter and honey sandwich I was talking about earlier? The bread's going to be the cheapest part by over $2.00.
Hot Dog Buns (8), $2.89- Your standard hot dog buns. You'll note that hot dogs come in packs of... well we've all heard that one before.
Total cost, with tax: $62.51
Recap: Not a bad experience. Store's freaking huge, and not a big box retailer (which is why I bought the freaking expensive honey/peanut butter. I couldn't find a cheaper version). Definitely going to go for the push cart rather than held basket next time. There's more random "what the heck is that" stuff there than I could possibly ever enjoy. This is going to be a fun summer, grocery store shopping wise. They even play pop songs as you're walking around, and I saw about 18 different free sample stations. How cool is that?
Now off to pick up dry cleaning.
Ssps Strawberry Banana Nectars drink, $1.89- I swear, this is like drinking an fruit smoothie. It's so, so, so good. Perhaps a new favorite of mine.
16oz of Strawberries, $2.69- I seriously haven't had fruit in a really, really long time. An old favorite makes an appearance, and it won't be the first time on this shopping list (technically, it's already the second).
Gatorade Fruit Punch, $2.99- for a whole really big bottle too. I was actually surprised how cheap all of this was.
Baker's Dipping Milk Chocolate, $2.69- Personal treat for myself. I now have microwavable chocolate in a small container to dip my strawberries in. Success!
Kellogg's Frosted Cherry Poptarts, $2.89- For in the morning when I don't have time to pick up a bagel. Again, cherry.
Freeds Mini Golden Cupcakes (a dozen), $3.19- Personal treat for myself. Will probably be gone by Tuesday. Little mini cupcakes!
Best Beef Regular Franks (ten?), $4.89- I now have hotdogs. Hot dog!
Sweet Apple Chicken Sausages (four), $5.29- Splurged a little bit on these. They're chicken sausages, which I've never had before, but looked pretty appealing. I passed up turkey sausages, beef sausages, mixed sausages, and probably some other types of sausage to pick these. Hopefully they'll live up to the hype.
Soft White Bread, $3.99- It's soft, white, and bread. Exactly what I was looking for.
Dozen rainbow rolls (sushi), $9.95- The most expensive thing on this list, and dinner tonight. This will be my first out-of-springfield Sushi eating experience. Can't say I'm not stoked.
Squeezable Concord Grape Jam, $2.49- It's jelly, for the bread. Don't even need a knife to spread.
Banquet Popcorn Chicken Meal (12 oz), $3.59- One of those frozen but microwavable dinner things. Popcorn chicken is always a pretty decent option, and one night when I'm exhausted I'll just eat this.
Pure Argentine Honey, $6.49- This was some freaking expensive honey. I don't even know what I'm going to do with it, really (honey and peanut butter sandwiches?). But hey, I've got a jar of top of the line honey. You only live once, right?
Better'n Peanut Butter (it's peanut butter, basically), $5.99- So remember that peanut butter and honey sandwich I was talking about earlier? The bread's going to be the cheapest part by over $2.00.
Hot Dog Buns (8), $2.89- Your standard hot dog buns. You'll note that hot dogs come in packs of... well we've all heard that one before.
Total cost, with tax: $62.51
Recap: Not a bad experience. Store's freaking huge, and not a big box retailer (which is why I bought the freaking expensive honey/peanut butter. I couldn't find a cheaper version). Definitely going to go for the push cart rather than held basket next time. There's more random "what the heck is that" stuff there than I could possibly ever enjoy. This is going to be a fun summer, grocery store shopping wise. They even play pop songs as you're walking around, and I saw about 18 different free sample stations. How cool is that?
Now off to pick up dry cleaning.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
The end of the beginning
One year down (to those of you reading this at Northwestern, good luck on midterms!). In many ways I feel like I'm the same guy that couldn't stop crying when I left Kim last August, but in a lot of other ways I feel like that person is somebody I used to know (and, at times, would like to rediscover). There's a quote from somewhere, I forget where, that says that once man has changed the relationship between himself and his environment, he can never go back to the blissful ignorance from which he came. A change in perception, by necessity, requires a change of location.
It still feels unbelievable the top of this blog now says "sophomore" instead of "freshman" (I'll give you a moment to go check... okay). I've met some really cool people out here, many of which I probably don't know about yet, and a number of other non-cool ones. I can't wait to be 21 and go out more, but most of the people with whom I would want to go out will have graduated at that time. I miss all of you reading this terribly, and can't believe I'm not going to see you all for another 3 or 4 months (and then only for a short while). Part of me hates growing up, but part of me thinks this is what I've wanted to do for the last... 5 years at least. I mean, I'm going to intern with people who, legit, work with survivors of the Darfur genocide and represent their interests before THE International Criminal Court in the The Hague. How cool is that? On the other hand, I miss a lot about Missouri. I miss driving around just for the hell of it, listening to 90s music, prepping for public forum, climbing into Kim's bed for an hour and a half after school to just cuddle, talking about politics with people that actually understand where I'm coming from on a daily basis, sharing new music with people (wow, this list is getting long). I don't know. I'm sure next year will be completely awesome, and I'll have a ton of fun, and stories, and all that, but I still haven't decided if this coast is necessarily the place for me in the long term. Until then, however, here's to the now. Wherever this finds you, I hope you're all well. I hope you've enjoyed listening.
It still feels unbelievable the top of this blog now says "sophomore" instead of "freshman" (I'll give you a moment to go check... okay). I've met some really cool people out here, many of which I probably don't know about yet, and a number of other non-cool ones. I can't wait to be 21 and go out more, but most of the people with whom I would want to go out will have graduated at that time. I miss all of you reading this terribly, and can't believe I'm not going to see you all for another 3 or 4 months (and then only for a short while). Part of me hates growing up, but part of me thinks this is what I've wanted to do for the last... 5 years at least. I mean, I'm going to intern with people who, legit, work with survivors of the Darfur genocide and represent their interests before THE International Criminal Court in the The Hague. How cool is that? On the other hand, I miss a lot about Missouri. I miss driving around just for the hell of it, listening to 90s music, prepping for public forum, climbing into Kim's bed for an hour and a half after school to just cuddle, talking about politics with people that actually understand where I'm coming from on a daily basis, sharing new music with people (wow, this list is getting long). I don't know. I'm sure next year will be completely awesome, and I'll have a ton of fun, and stories, and all that, but I still haven't decided if this coast is necessarily the place for me in the long term. Until then, however, here's to the now. Wherever this finds you, I hope you're all well. I hope you've enjoyed listening.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
I now have an internship!
I managed to get a summer internship in Newark, so I probably won't be coming home much this summer. Most of the people that read this blog I've spoken to about this personally, but I'll post a more detailed description of my activities sometime later this week. While you wait, here's a really amazing article about "Modern Genius" from David Brooks in the NY Times yesterday:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/01/opinion/01brooks.html?ref=opinion
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/01/opinion/01brooks.html?ref=opinion
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