The plans this evening:
Tonight, despite being sort-of sick since Monday (nose, throat, cough) I'm probably going to wander around South Orange near campus with my ex and current roommates, find people at a party we can pay to attend for the opportunity to drink copious amounts of alcohol and possibly exchange STDs with girls we don't know, get drunk (or in my case, watch everybody else get drunk because I have to go intern tomorrow in the morning), and eventually pass out somewhere. And everybody's okay with this.
I don't understand my generation.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Conversation with my housemate
7:10 PM, Upon Caitlin's return home:
Caitlin (in the other room): Hey Dan, I think I'm going to cook dinner tonight. I put out some chicken.
Dan (pleasantly surprised): Oh? Awesome!
Caitlin: Yeah, I'm going to go do some 'shrooms. Should be pretty good.
Dan (confused): Wait... are you doing 'shrooms before or after you cook the chicken?
No response.
Caitlin (in the other room): Hey Dan, I think I'm going to cook dinner tonight. I put out some chicken.
Dan (pleasantly surprised): Oh? Awesome!
Caitlin: Yeah, I'm going to go do some 'shrooms. Should be pretty good.
Dan (confused): Wait... are you doing 'shrooms before or after you cook the chicken?
No response.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
What I've Learned
As my summer in South Orange wraps up in the next week (week and a half at most) and I return to Missouri for my 4 weeks of summer, I found it useful to record a few thoughts. In no particular order, and nothing terribly profound...
Over the last 10 weeks in South Orange:
Not a whole lot changed. I didn't meet a bunch of new people, I didn't go to Philly, or Boston, or DC, or New Hampshire, or... wherever. I generally kept to myself, went into the city a few times, read more books than normal, gained a lot of work experience, and had both an incredibly stressful and, at times, decently enjoyable time. Newark is pretty bad, but it's not terrible in certain parts in the day time. All that being said, I'm very glad it's coming to an end.
Over the last week:
I supposedly shouldn't be a lawyer. This is what 2 of the 3 lawyers in the practice have told me (and I haven't spoken to the third). When I get emails at 10:00 pm or later from them, despite I know they've been up since 7:00 (or earlier) getting ready for trial; when staying at work until midnight or one am on a weekend night is unusual, but not unheard of, I realize that maybe this isn't a profession I want to enter into (or, at least, to the extent that they have). Maybe I'm rediscovering my policy enjoyability, maybe I want to see my kids grow up, but, paradoxically, despite loving what I do at the law firm, my time at the law firm is convincing me I don't want to do "real lawyer" stuff for a living.
Over the last year:
Central had a pretty remarkable group of people. Seton Hall is okay, but I haven't met anybody of similar caliber to those people I knew back home. I don't know everybody as well, but no Nick Ramsey jumped out at me here. I'm not incredibly sure I've jumped out at anybody, really, but once again it's reiterated that we had a special group at high school. The people on the east coast are okay, but I don't know if I want to stay out here. Maybe Chicago could be a compromise between somewhere big and cool and the midwest.
Ramblings (Lessons?):
All in all, I recognize more how much each of us is changing. With one notable exception, I feel I talk to the people that read this less than I used to. We're each going out own separate ways, paths diverging, until eventually the vast majority of what we'll have left are memories. It's funny - in movies, and I think for most people in real life that don't chose to go hundreds of miles away to college, there isn't as much a break between high school and college. I'm not sure this will make sense, but stereotypically high school and summer ends, you go to college with a few friends, you're friends, gradually you're groups change, and eventually you may or may not become more separate from your friends from the past... but overall it's not so different a process from gaining and losing friends in a high school environment. Now I still count my five best friends as being from Missouri (yes, there's a ranking system), but (again, one exception) I feel we're not as good of friends as we were a year ago. This is nobody's fault, and shouldn't necessarily be mourned, but it's a sentiment that causes me to pause for reflection nonetheless. I assume I'll eventually have new best friends... or maybe that's grad school. Or maybe I'll marry somebody reading this in 6ish years (and yes, everybody I know of that has this address is female. Which is an entirely other blog post in and of itself...) and we'll have actually met our "soul mate" at age 14. As Chris Lang, who is still in a relationship with Angela Stone after a year at colleges in different states, put it (paraphrasing), "College isn't for relationships. It's more for fucking random people." I almost agree with him, at least insofar at what the system seems to promote. Maybe it's just kids our age. Adults. Whatever.
So, after that digression, what's left? Before all (or most) of us stop reading each others' blogs, or updating ever (I'm glaring at certain people. If you just felt a twinge of guilt, it's you.), or... basically before we all go our separate ways, I know this is something we all said at the end of high school, but thanks for the memories. Thanks for helping keep me somewhat sane during the first almost 12 months of my haphazard New Jersey adventure. Thanks for being there for me, even if there is a thousand miles away. When all we have left are memories, know that I cherish each and every one of them.
And to the one of you that I've stayed up all night with, talking incessantly about everything possible, and... well, you should know by now who you are. Especially, thanks to you too. And if this isn't you, don't feel bad. It's not like I like you any less than I did before. I kind of hate myself now, given that I'm being all sneaky and alluding to things in this blog post without saying who the heck I'm talking about. But I'm too lazy to restructure this entire post to avoid saying this, and don't want to delete it. ...Crap. Let's just move on. This wasn't the point of the post anyway. That was all that moving apart/learning/you're all so special to me. That was the point. Remember that part. And something about the East Coast. I think that it's okay, but not overwhelmingly great. That sounds good.
I feel like I have a few more things to say about relationships in general as we grow older, and the prospect of actually having something somewhat serious with somebody that we don't have to wait 3 years to actually materialize becomes, well, almost- sort of- close for me (end of college, maybe? During grad school?), but that's going to be another post. As you can probably tell by the poor grammar and syntax of this post, to say nothing of the post-time and the almost nonsensical punctuation, it's late, and I'm tired. So, once again, love you all.
Go to the link:
http://xkcd.com/610/
Over the last 10 weeks in South Orange:
Not a whole lot changed. I didn't meet a bunch of new people, I didn't go to Philly, or Boston, or DC, or New Hampshire, or... wherever. I generally kept to myself, went into the city a few times, read more books than normal, gained a lot of work experience, and had both an incredibly stressful and, at times, decently enjoyable time. Newark is pretty bad, but it's not terrible in certain parts in the day time. All that being said, I'm very glad it's coming to an end.
Over the last week:
I supposedly shouldn't be a lawyer. This is what 2 of the 3 lawyers in the practice have told me (and I haven't spoken to the third). When I get emails at 10:00 pm or later from them, despite I know they've been up since 7:00 (or earlier) getting ready for trial; when staying at work until midnight or one am on a weekend night is unusual, but not unheard of, I realize that maybe this isn't a profession I want to enter into (or, at least, to the extent that they have). Maybe I'm rediscovering my policy enjoyability, maybe I want to see my kids grow up, but, paradoxically, despite loving what I do at the law firm, my time at the law firm is convincing me I don't want to do "real lawyer" stuff for a living.
Over the last year:
Central had a pretty remarkable group of people. Seton Hall is okay, but I haven't met anybody of similar caliber to those people I knew back home. I don't know everybody as well, but no Nick Ramsey jumped out at me here. I'm not incredibly sure I've jumped out at anybody, really, but once again it's reiterated that we had a special group at high school. The people on the east coast are okay, but I don't know if I want to stay out here. Maybe Chicago could be a compromise between somewhere big and cool and the midwest.
Ramblings (Lessons?):
All in all, I recognize more how much each of us is changing. With one notable exception, I feel I talk to the people that read this less than I used to. We're each going out own separate ways, paths diverging, until eventually the vast majority of what we'll have left are memories. It's funny - in movies, and I think for most people in real life that don't chose to go hundreds of miles away to college, there isn't as much a break between high school and college. I'm not sure this will make sense, but stereotypically high school and summer ends, you go to college with a few friends, you're friends, gradually you're groups change, and eventually you may or may not become more separate from your friends from the past... but overall it's not so different a process from gaining and losing friends in a high school environment. Now I still count my five best friends as being from Missouri (yes, there's a ranking system), but (again, one exception) I feel we're not as good of friends as we were a year ago. This is nobody's fault, and shouldn't necessarily be mourned, but it's a sentiment that causes me to pause for reflection nonetheless. I assume I'll eventually have new best friends... or maybe that's grad school. Or maybe I'll marry somebody reading this in 6ish years (and yes, everybody I know of that has this address is female. Which is an entirely other blog post in and of itself...) and we'll have actually met our "soul mate" at age 14. As Chris Lang, who is still in a relationship with Angela Stone after a year at colleges in different states, put it (paraphrasing), "College isn't for relationships. It's more for fucking random people." I almost agree with him, at least insofar at what the system seems to promote. Maybe it's just kids our age. Adults. Whatever.
So, after that digression, what's left? Before all (or most) of us stop reading each others' blogs, or updating ever (I'm glaring at certain people. If you just felt a twinge of guilt, it's you.), or... basically before we all go our separate ways, I know this is something we all said at the end of high school, but thanks for the memories. Thanks for helping keep me somewhat sane during the first almost 12 months of my haphazard New Jersey adventure. Thanks for being there for me, even if there is a thousand miles away. When all we have left are memories, know that I cherish each and every one of them.
And to the one of you that I've stayed up all night with, talking incessantly about everything possible, and... well, you should know by now who you are. Especially, thanks to you too. And if this isn't you, don't feel bad. It's not like I like you any less than I did before. I kind of hate myself now, given that I'm being all sneaky and alluding to things in this blog post without saying who the heck I'm talking about. But I'm too lazy to restructure this entire post to avoid saying this, and don't want to delete it. ...Crap. Let's just move on. This wasn't the point of the post anyway. That was all that moving apart/learning/you're all so special to me. That was the point. Remember that part. And something about the East Coast. I think that it's okay, but not overwhelmingly great. That sounds good.
I feel like I have a few more things to say about relationships in general as we grow older, and the prospect of actually having something somewhat serious with somebody that we don't have to wait 3 years to actually materialize becomes, well, almost- sort of- close for me (end of college, maybe? During grad school?), but that's going to be another post. As you can probably tell by the poor grammar and syntax of this post, to say nothing of the post-time and the almost nonsensical punctuation, it's late, and I'm tired. So, once again, love you all.
Go to the link:
http://xkcd.com/610/
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Go
Work today was pretty boring. I wrote up some stuff, but generally had time to do a little browsing of the internet in ways that were only vaguely work related (looking at the political system of Namibia, for example - and by the way, it's pretty good). As I progressed through various websites, I actually got into certain non-governmental organizations (NGOs) set up in other countries, like one calling for human rights in Zimbabwe, for example. As I looked into opportunities for what these organizations did, or even just American partnerships with various organizations to teach English in Ghana, Kenya, Uganda, etc., I was filled with this almost overpowering urge to just go to these places. Help out poor people, work for political activist groups, teach math to 7 year olds, somethings, anything, to go somewhere way, way out there for a while. For a time, a few minutes, everything seemed so perfectly crystal clear. I was gone. There was no question if, it was only when.
Then, of course, life intervenes. I came home from work, at some delivery chinese food, helped somebody move a TV around, went and hung out with some people and watched half of Casino Royal, got tired, came home... and here I am. Africa now seems worlds away.
I wonder how much our lives in the United States insulates us from that desire to make a difference in the world. I think a lot of people our age are looking for meaning in something (when they're not just angry they're bored), and a lot (to sound like your parents) chose really meaningless ways of blowing off steam just to... well... I don't know why, exactly. Because we can, I guess. From 3 weeks spent volunteering in poor, rural Nicaragua during high school, I have a very, very limited sense that there's a world out there that's not the United States; where everything isn't as good as we all have it here. Not to quote spider man or be narcissistic, but I've, at times, questioned why I was given this intelligence, drive, and other amiable qualities (like having a profound desire to do something worthwhile with my life) instead of the millions, if not billions, that live on less than $1.25 a day. Surely it's to make some sort of small difference, somehow. That desire to make a difference is, in some ways, one of my most profound hopes for my life.
So after this brief little bit of reflection, I haven't determined if I'm going to be in Africa, New Jersey, Missouri, or somewhere else next summer. I can honestly say I really don't know. We're all reaching the points in our lives where, soon, we'll have the chance to chose exactly how we spend our time, where we go, where we live, and what impact we make. In all seriousness, this is something that we should all consider with the greatest of importance. Before long, this is going to be our world, to make of it what we will. I don't know where I, or any of the rest of us, are going to end up, but I hope in some small way we find a way to matter. If any of you ever feel similarly moved to go run off somewhere, know that, again in all seriousness, I'd love to have you along. We should talk.
Then, of course, life intervenes. I came home from work, at some delivery chinese food, helped somebody move a TV around, went and hung out with some people and watched half of Casino Royal, got tired, came home... and here I am. Africa now seems worlds away.
I wonder how much our lives in the United States insulates us from that desire to make a difference in the world. I think a lot of people our age are looking for meaning in something (when they're not just angry they're bored), and a lot (to sound like your parents) chose really meaningless ways of blowing off steam just to... well... I don't know why, exactly. Because we can, I guess. From 3 weeks spent volunteering in poor, rural Nicaragua during high school, I have a very, very limited sense that there's a world out there that's not the United States; where everything isn't as good as we all have it here. Not to quote spider man or be narcissistic, but I've, at times, questioned why I was given this intelligence, drive, and other amiable qualities (like having a profound desire to do something worthwhile with my life) instead of the millions, if not billions, that live on less than $1.25 a day. Surely it's to make some sort of small difference, somehow. That desire to make a difference is, in some ways, one of my most profound hopes for my life.
So after this brief little bit of reflection, I haven't determined if I'm going to be in Africa, New Jersey, Missouri, or somewhere else next summer. I can honestly say I really don't know. We're all reaching the points in our lives where, soon, we'll have the chance to chose exactly how we spend our time, where we go, where we live, and what impact we make. In all seriousness, this is something that we should all consider with the greatest of importance. Before long, this is going to be our world, to make of it what we will. I don't know where I, or any of the rest of us, are going to end up, but I hope in some small way we find a way to matter. If any of you ever feel similarly moved to go run off somewhere, know that, again in all seriousness, I'd love to have you along. We should talk.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
I'm up for an emotional one night stand
(To clarify the title, that's an emotional one night stand as distinguished from a physical one night stand, not a physical one night stand filled with emotions.)
So it occurs to me that I don't have very many friends. While this certainly isn't a shocking realization, it really hit home when I logged onto facebook this evening after an 11.5 hour day at work (more on that in a second), checked who was online, and actually briefly considered talking to Anisha Rimal before realizing, wait, why on earth would I talk to Anisha Rimal? Answer: I have nobody better to talk to. This is a somewhat, but not altogether, depressing realization. I mean, given the circumstances of me being in New Jersey, sans any significant other to speak of, after freshman year of college when most of my classmates are in their hometowns, chilling with their parents, lifeguarding, catering, waitressing, or doing other "normal" jobs like that (like I'd be working in the mall if I was in Missouri), it's not like I'm a huge priority on most of my guy friends' "to visit" lists. Despite going to a school of "international relations and diplomacy", I have found that whenever events occur in the diplomatic or political world, I primarily discuss them with people back home or my parents. After a year at Seton Hall, albeit a below average year, I don't think I've really found anybody I've "clicked" with yet.
One person I have actually clicked with was (is?) my roommate last year. Great guy named Ralph Pepe, who lives about 30 minutes from here. Due to costs he transferred out of Seton Hall (it's expensive if you've decided to be a police officer), but last Friday he randomly drove me to see his house, his new college, his town, where he works, grab dinner and DQ... all in all it was a relatively fun time. During the course of our conversation, we managed to discuss how much Seton Hall sucks, how life/summer was going in general, our respective female situations, you know, normal stuff. Along the way, Ralph made the fascinating claim that almost everybody I knew or was sorta friends with was incredibly, totally crazy. And the funny thing is... he's right. Due to being unable to name names on this blog (more people at least have the potential to read it now than used to, and I don't want to name names that would result in me gaining even less social standing than I already possess), suffice it to say that the majority of my ex girlfriends, a significant minority, if not majority, of people I am relatively okay friends with now, and probably, given my luck, a good 50-60% of the people I've yet to meet have some serious mental trauma or issues in their past (hereafter referred to as "baggage"). All of this begs the question: is it them, me, or... what? Why do I seem to be able to find and relate to normal people? Am I boring, or do I find them boring (I find a lot of people boring...)? Do I attract people that are looking for stability in their lives, or do I attract people who the normal people have already rejected because they're too unstable? Will I keep asking unanswerable rhetorical questions? (Answer: no).
I was taking a "what ethnicity should you date" quiz on facebook yesterday (new low, I know) and it told me I should date asians. Why? (Bear with me, I SWEAR all of this has a point. Don't exit! Don't!) Because, according to the quiz, I'm attracted to quiet, small, intelligent, studious people. This is probably a fairly accurate description of who I would be attracted to, but I don't think I actually know ANYBODY (female) who fits that description. I mean, I'm not super incredibly nerdy or super political active in a "Bush/Obama/Gordon Brown must DIE" way, so most of the super nerdy or super politically active girls are all over there on the left with the likeminded fellows (that's right, I used "fellows"). Then over here on the right we have all the ambitious, I'm going to make something of myself type women. Too bad they're so ambitious they're not dating anybody, or if they are, they're just fucking them. Since I'm so totally amazing at one night stands (see title), naturally we get along really well (obvious sarcasm here). In the middle we have all the normal people (boring), so I'm left to randomly wander around in the forward or back parts of life looking for somebody who I can even have intelligent conversations with. (It strikes me that this turned into a "why I'm not dating somebody" instead of a "why don't I have friends" post. Dammit. Okay, well, all of this applies to friends too.) I mean, would I even be friends with myself if I didn't know me? I talk a lot in class, have in depth discussions with teachers, generally keep to myself afterwards... I mean, I'd be my friend. I just haven't found the equivalent of Nick Henderson out here yet (well, I have sort of, but he's found a girl he's going to be engaged to soon or something. Also, notice how I managed to swing this topic back into the friendship rather than dating realm). There's just nobody in any of my classes that makes intelligent points that isn't a) two years older than me, b) extremely liberal, or c) commutes and is probably dating some 25 year old (or is ambitious and doesn't touch relationships - or, as a sidenote, is going to be in an arranged marriage. No lie). Long story short, it's difficult (relatively) being me.
One of the other reasons it's somewhat difficult being me is that I worked 11.5 hours at work today. I'd blog all about it (really exciting stuff going on), but I signed an agreement that says I can't. So you'll have to trust me, it's really freaking exciting. I could potentially be going to Africa 2-3 times between now and January (again, potentially) and things are moving really fast. Lots of time intensive, deadline specific stuff needs to get done in the next 7 days and I'm pretty much one of the only interns that can be in to do it. This means that I get a lot of learning experience, a little bit of responsibility, and maybe even some well-likedness, but it sort of sucks having relatively nobody to share this with that's in the same boat as me. One of the reasons that I don't really mind working that much is that it sorta gives meaning to what I'm doing out here. I don't do a ton of stuff just "for fun" really, so it's a heck of a lot better than just sitting at home playing music until I fall asleep. I wonder if law is in my future. Apparently being a lawyer requires 60-70 hour weeks, and after putting in a 50 or so hour one, I know that they could probably get really old, really fast. Especially when/if I actually have a significant other and, who knows, maybe a couple of kids... I don't know that I'd want them growing up almost without me for that long. But then again, ambition calls, and my quest to do something worthwhile with my life once again tells me to push onward, work harder, achieve more, and worry about the women when I find a short, intelligent, quiet, studious, and apparently asian one.
Sadly, I don't really have a good ending point for this blog post.
So it occurs to me that I don't have very many friends. While this certainly isn't a shocking realization, it really hit home when I logged onto facebook this evening after an 11.5 hour day at work (more on that in a second), checked who was online, and actually briefly considered talking to Anisha Rimal before realizing, wait, why on earth would I talk to Anisha Rimal? Answer: I have nobody better to talk to. This is a somewhat, but not altogether, depressing realization. I mean, given the circumstances of me being in New Jersey, sans any significant other to speak of, after freshman year of college when most of my classmates are in their hometowns, chilling with their parents, lifeguarding, catering, waitressing, or doing other "normal" jobs like that (like I'd be working in the mall if I was in Missouri), it's not like I'm a huge priority on most of my guy friends' "to visit" lists. Despite going to a school of "international relations and diplomacy", I have found that whenever events occur in the diplomatic or political world, I primarily discuss them with people back home or my parents. After a year at Seton Hall, albeit a below average year, I don't think I've really found anybody I've "clicked" with yet.
One person I have actually clicked with was (is?) my roommate last year. Great guy named Ralph Pepe, who lives about 30 minutes from here. Due to costs he transferred out of Seton Hall (it's expensive if you've decided to be a police officer), but last Friday he randomly drove me to see his house, his new college, his town, where he works, grab dinner and DQ... all in all it was a relatively fun time. During the course of our conversation, we managed to discuss how much Seton Hall sucks, how life/summer was going in general, our respective female situations, you know, normal stuff. Along the way, Ralph made the fascinating claim that almost everybody I knew or was sorta friends with was incredibly, totally crazy. And the funny thing is... he's right. Due to being unable to name names on this blog (more people at least have the potential to read it now than used to, and I don't want to name names that would result in me gaining even less social standing than I already possess), suffice it to say that the majority of my ex girlfriends, a significant minority, if not majority, of people I am relatively okay friends with now, and probably, given my luck, a good 50-60% of the people I've yet to meet have some serious mental trauma or issues in their past (hereafter referred to as "baggage"). All of this begs the question: is it them, me, or... what? Why do I seem to be able to find and relate to normal people? Am I boring, or do I find them boring (I find a lot of people boring...)? Do I attract people that are looking for stability in their lives, or do I attract people who the normal people have already rejected because they're too unstable? Will I keep asking unanswerable rhetorical questions? (Answer: no).
I was taking a "what ethnicity should you date" quiz on facebook yesterday (new low, I know) and it told me I should date asians. Why? (Bear with me, I SWEAR all of this has a point. Don't exit! Don't!) Because, according to the quiz, I'm attracted to quiet, small, intelligent, studious people. This is probably a fairly accurate description of who I would be attracted to, but I don't think I actually know ANYBODY (female) who fits that description. I mean, I'm not super incredibly nerdy or super political active in a "Bush/Obama/Gordon Brown must DIE" way, so most of the super nerdy or super politically active girls are all over there on the left with the likeminded fellows (that's right, I used "fellows"). Then over here on the right we have all the ambitious, I'm going to make something of myself type women. Too bad they're so ambitious they're not dating anybody, or if they are, they're just fucking them. Since I'm so totally amazing at one night stands (see title), naturally we get along really well (obvious sarcasm here). In the middle we have all the normal people (boring), so I'm left to randomly wander around in the forward or back parts of life looking for somebody who I can even have intelligent conversations with. (It strikes me that this turned into a "why I'm not dating somebody" instead of a "why don't I have friends" post. Dammit. Okay, well, all of this applies to friends too.) I mean, would I even be friends with myself if I didn't know me? I talk a lot in class, have in depth discussions with teachers, generally keep to myself afterwards... I mean, I'd be my friend. I just haven't found the equivalent of Nick Henderson out here yet (well, I have sort of, but he's found a girl he's going to be engaged to soon or something. Also, notice how I managed to swing this topic back into the friendship rather than dating realm). There's just nobody in any of my classes that makes intelligent points that isn't a) two years older than me, b) extremely liberal, or c) commutes and is probably dating some 25 year old (or is ambitious and doesn't touch relationships - or, as a sidenote, is going to be in an arranged marriage. No lie). Long story short, it's difficult (relatively) being me.
One of the other reasons it's somewhat difficult being me is that I worked 11.5 hours at work today. I'd blog all about it (really exciting stuff going on), but I signed an agreement that says I can't. So you'll have to trust me, it's really freaking exciting. I could potentially be going to Africa 2-3 times between now and January (again, potentially) and things are moving really fast. Lots of time intensive, deadline specific stuff needs to get done in the next 7 days and I'm pretty much one of the only interns that can be in to do it. This means that I get a lot of learning experience, a little bit of responsibility, and maybe even some well-likedness, but it sort of sucks having relatively nobody to share this with that's in the same boat as me. One of the reasons that I don't really mind working that much is that it sorta gives meaning to what I'm doing out here. I don't do a ton of stuff just "for fun" really, so it's a heck of a lot better than just sitting at home playing music until I fall asleep. I wonder if law is in my future. Apparently being a lawyer requires 60-70 hour weeks, and after putting in a 50 or so hour one, I know that they could probably get really old, really fast. Especially when/if I actually have a significant other and, who knows, maybe a couple of kids... I don't know that I'd want them growing up almost without me for that long. But then again, ambition calls, and my quest to do something worthwhile with my life once again tells me to push onward, work harder, achieve more, and worry about the women when I find a short, intelligent, quiet, studious, and apparently asian one.
Sadly, I don't really have a good ending point for this blog post.
Monday, June 15, 2009
And the Clouds Grew Darker (surprisingly not a metaphor)
Since my official facebook christening as a "NEWARK HERO!" (not even kidding, I took a quiz and everything) I've been more open to walking to and from work (once I get off the train at Newark Broad Street station) instead of taking the light rail from NBS to Newark Penn and then to another stop across the street from work. Despite a growing number of dark clouds (like, seriously dark clouds) in the sky, I neglected to grab an umbrella as I was leaving the office. Additionally, today I had limited time to catch the express from NBS back to South Orange, so I made the executive decision that I would roll the dice and could do the 12 minute walk before the skies opened up and drenched this Newark Hero in a torrential downpour.
You can probably guess where this is going.
About 3 or 4 minutes into the walk, just long enough that it didn't make any sense to go back to the light rail station across the street from work but still with definitely more than half way to go, a raindrop hits the back of my neck. Not a small raindrop either. And I think to myself, "This could be bad." More drops. "Oh boy. Typical really. This isn't going to end well." Rain beginning to get close to starting. "Do I have any real options here? Go back, no, go forward... well... I guess... screw it." Rain begins. Not just light rain, either. It's funny; in New Jersey I think I've been a part of one, maybe two, thunderstorms. They don't really happen out here. So while this wasn't a thunderstorm, this was large raindrops, heavy rain, full out "you chose... unwisely" type situation. So in my black slacks, black dress shoes, silver dress shirt with black buttons that I wore to Loyalty either junior or senior year (I can't remember... but I'm pretty sure I wore it to one of those), and Kenneth Cole black leather messenger bag, I become absolutely soaked. In the next 3-4 minutes my hair becomes completely wet, shirt drenched, shoes getting full of water...
And as the clouds grew darker and the rain intensity increased to not just raining, but REALLY raining (you know when rain really picks up, like you have to have the windshield wipers on high to see anything and even then it's kind of a challenge? That's the kind of rain we entered at this point in the journey). There was no point in running to the train station; I was already completely wet. So I grew, perhaps, even more waterlogged. Shoes filled with water. Black dress slacks quite literally couldn't have been wetter if I had showered with them on. Shirt maintained fully waterlogged status. I felt in a small way like that couple in The Notebook, minus the girl and the fact that I was definitely not on a boat (motherfucker!) (note: I have never seen this movie, but it was one of Kim's, like, two favorites so I'm rather familiar with this one scene where this couple is out in a boat talking about how much they love each other, and it starts DOWNPOURING, so the guy rows to shore and there's this incredibly rain-soaked make out session on the dock of the lake with... yeah yeah, anyway) (by the way that previous "motherfucker" was a reference to the song "I'm on a boat". If you haven't listen to it yet, it's pretty hilarious. I realize this reference is about 1-2 months old by now. Let's move on).
During the last 3-4 completely rainsoaked minutes of walking to the train station, I remember not being able to stop smiling. For whatever reason, the entire affair just made me feel incredibly bright. After the 10 minute express train ride, and the 8 minute walk back up to my apartment, I promptly went into my room, stripped naked, threw all of the definitely-still-wet clothes in a pile, and climbed into bed. I remember just lying on my back, staring at the ceiling, thinking about a number of different topics (mostly involving work and the future, but some, I'm sure, were just random reminiscings on the day). I'm not sure how long I stared at the ceiling, completely losing myself in thought, before I drifted off to sleep. I just woke up from my three hour nap (meaning my sleep schedule is probably not going to be the best, but it never was) when I wrote this blog post, and I'm now going to see about making dinner and watching a movie before real bed. I feel very happy right now. Just thought you all should know.
You can probably guess where this is going.
About 3 or 4 minutes into the walk, just long enough that it didn't make any sense to go back to the light rail station across the street from work but still with definitely more than half way to go, a raindrop hits the back of my neck. Not a small raindrop either. And I think to myself, "This could be bad." More drops. "Oh boy. Typical really. This isn't going to end well." Rain beginning to get close to starting. "Do I have any real options here? Go back, no, go forward... well... I guess... screw it." Rain begins. Not just light rain, either. It's funny; in New Jersey I think I've been a part of one, maybe two, thunderstorms. They don't really happen out here. So while this wasn't a thunderstorm, this was large raindrops, heavy rain, full out "you chose... unwisely" type situation. So in my black slacks, black dress shoes, silver dress shirt with black buttons that I wore to Loyalty either junior or senior year (I can't remember... but I'm pretty sure I wore it to one of those), and Kenneth Cole black leather messenger bag, I become absolutely soaked. In the next 3-4 minutes my hair becomes completely wet, shirt drenched, shoes getting full of water...
And as the clouds grew darker and the rain intensity increased to not just raining, but REALLY raining (you know when rain really picks up, like you have to have the windshield wipers on high to see anything and even then it's kind of a challenge? That's the kind of rain we entered at this point in the journey). There was no point in running to the train station; I was already completely wet. So I grew, perhaps, even more waterlogged. Shoes filled with water. Black dress slacks quite literally couldn't have been wetter if I had showered with them on. Shirt maintained fully waterlogged status. I felt in a small way like that couple in The Notebook, minus the girl and the fact that I was definitely not on a boat (motherfucker!) (note: I have never seen this movie, but it was one of Kim's, like, two favorites so I'm rather familiar with this one scene where this couple is out in a boat talking about how much they love each other, and it starts DOWNPOURING, so the guy rows to shore and there's this incredibly rain-soaked make out session on the dock of the lake with... yeah yeah, anyway) (by the way that previous "motherfucker" was a reference to the song "I'm on a boat". If you haven't listen to it yet, it's pretty hilarious. I realize this reference is about 1-2 months old by now. Let's move on).
During the last 3-4 completely rainsoaked minutes of walking to the train station, I remember not being able to stop smiling. For whatever reason, the entire affair just made me feel incredibly bright. After the 10 minute express train ride, and the 8 minute walk back up to my apartment, I promptly went into my room, stripped naked, threw all of the definitely-still-wet clothes in a pile, and climbed into bed. I remember just lying on my back, staring at the ceiling, thinking about a number of different topics (mostly involving work and the future, but some, I'm sure, were just random reminiscings on the day). I'm not sure how long I stared at the ceiling, completely losing myself in thought, before I drifted off to sleep. I just woke up from my three hour nap (meaning my sleep schedule is probably not going to be the best, but it never was) when I wrote this blog post, and I'm now going to see about making dinner and watching a movie before real bed. I feel very happy right now. Just thought you all should know.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
What job can I get now that I know how to speed in policy debate?
Answer: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124278191732237461.html
By the way, the national public forum topic is about US-Cuban relations. We'd've had fun with that one...
By the way, the national public forum topic is about US-Cuban relations. We'd've had fun with that one...
Monday, May 11, 2009
No one to talk to, so I'll talk to myself
I'm in a free-writing kind of mood, so a lot of this will be rhetorical questions I probably would know the answer to if I'd thought about it enough.
After working in the Darfur Victims Project, you'd think I'd be able to come up with a better bit of perspective than this. 10:00 on a Monday night, and without homework I find myself with a fair amount of "free" time. It's not really free, in that there's only one set of keys for the apartment between Emily and me (and she has them right now), but there's certainly no homework taking up my time. I talked to Steph for a while on the internet, watched some basketball, and am currently the only one in the apartment. As I was browsing pictures on facebook I saw the IB banquet had occurred. I felt a momentary pang of hope for all of the futures of my former classmates at central, and barely resisted the urge to write something I thought was inspirational on the photos of people I haven't talked to in 10 months. Part of me is amazed by what I'm doing (interning at a legit law firm in Newark), but part of me finds myself who exactly I am again. One year after the IB banquet in Missouri, Kim, high school, debate... I find myself sitting alone in an apartment, watching basketball, enjoying my chicken sausage and strawberries, really wanting to have a deep conversation with somebody but not exactly having anybody with whom to have it. It seems everybody's gone home to their friends in their hometowns (people my age) or is staying with friends they've known for years in college (roommates). And here I am, in the name of progress and resumes. And, you know, helping stop a genocide. That too.
I feel stuck somewhere in between where I am and where I'm going. Not where I've been and where I'm going, mind you, but where I am and where I'm going. I'll try to explain. High school, senior year summer, was trapped in between where I had been before and the future. Everything was desperately trying to hold on to Kimberly, working 40+ hours a week at something I knew I'd probably never do again to make money, and just waiting for time to go by because I knew I couldn't stop it. The future was over there, where I had been was to the left, and I was caught in the middle.
Now? I feel as though, after having only had one year in college, I've already sorta got the hang of it. I know I'll become better friends with people, my roommate and I next year will have a blast, I'll go to class, hopefully do well, be amazingly impressed by some of them, hate others, and get grades when it's all said and done. Multiple professors have already told me how much I'm going to love grad school so much more than college. I'm rooming with girls that graduated from Seton Hall today, working with women that will be second year grad students or seniors next year, and getting along with everybody really well. But, come 10:00, I'm, as Emily put it, still "just a baby" and thus don't go out and do bars (plus I have to get up at like 6:30. whoo!). And the people with whom I'd want to go to bars are.. well... I'm not sure who exactly I take. There's a girl in Chicago, a few in Missouri, and guy here or there... but the fast majority of them are, not surprisingly really, 2 or 3 years older than me. Right before the time I'm able to go out with them, they'll be gone. And so we'll repeat. I'm not stuck between where I was and where I'm going. I'm stuck between where I am and where I'm going. Does that make any sense?
Part of me wants to get away. Part of me wants to go home. Part of me wants to go back in time about 15 months to a night right after a trip to St. Louis that is still one of the most meaningful of my life. Part of me wants to fast forward about 2 years, or 5 years, or 8... just to see where I end up with all these new horizons I'm exploring. Strangely, part of me really does like learning more about New Jersey, not getting mugged, standing in dress slacks and a dress shirt at a train station with a copy of the New York Times in my hands and my new Kenneth Cole messenger bag at my side. I'm doing all these amazing things, and I really do enjoy them, but I feel like I'm trying to run just a few steps ahead of life. Not to flatter myself too much, but let's say you graduated high school at age 15. I mean.. it's sorta like... now what? Or college at, for example, 17 or 18. "You've graduated (or in my case, you have a really cool internship!)! What're you going to do now?" Sadly, my answer, at least for the first week or so, has been not too terribly much. I don't know. I'm sure I'll get out of this, and things will be golden, and I'll focus on the positive and realize how much better it is to be here than anywhere else in the world because here is where I am.
Here's to progress.
After working in the Darfur Victims Project, you'd think I'd be able to come up with a better bit of perspective than this. 10:00 on a Monday night, and without homework I find myself with a fair amount of "free" time. It's not really free, in that there's only one set of keys for the apartment between Emily and me (and she has them right now), but there's certainly no homework taking up my time. I talked to Steph for a while on the internet, watched some basketball, and am currently the only one in the apartment. As I was browsing pictures on facebook I saw the IB banquet had occurred. I felt a momentary pang of hope for all of the futures of my former classmates at central, and barely resisted the urge to write something I thought was inspirational on the photos of people I haven't talked to in 10 months. Part of me is amazed by what I'm doing (interning at a legit law firm in Newark), but part of me finds myself who exactly I am again. One year after the IB banquet in Missouri, Kim, high school, debate... I find myself sitting alone in an apartment, watching basketball, enjoying my chicken sausage and strawberries, really wanting to have a deep conversation with somebody but not exactly having anybody with whom to have it. It seems everybody's gone home to their friends in their hometowns (people my age) or is staying with friends they've known for years in college (roommates). And here I am, in the name of progress and resumes. And, you know, helping stop a genocide. That too.
I feel stuck somewhere in between where I am and where I'm going. Not where I've been and where I'm going, mind you, but where I am and where I'm going. I'll try to explain. High school, senior year summer, was trapped in between where I had been before and the future. Everything was desperately trying to hold on to Kimberly, working 40+ hours a week at something I knew I'd probably never do again to make money, and just waiting for time to go by because I knew I couldn't stop it. The future was over there, where I had been was to the left, and I was caught in the middle.
Now? I feel as though, after having only had one year in college, I've already sorta got the hang of it. I know I'll become better friends with people, my roommate and I next year will have a blast, I'll go to class, hopefully do well, be amazingly impressed by some of them, hate others, and get grades when it's all said and done. Multiple professors have already told me how much I'm going to love grad school so much more than college. I'm rooming with girls that graduated from Seton Hall today, working with women that will be second year grad students or seniors next year, and getting along with everybody really well. But, come 10:00, I'm, as Emily put it, still "just a baby" and thus don't go out and do bars (plus I have to get up at like 6:30. whoo!). And the people with whom I'd want to go to bars are.. well... I'm not sure who exactly I take. There's a girl in Chicago, a few in Missouri, and guy here or there... but the fast majority of them are, not surprisingly really, 2 or 3 years older than me. Right before the time I'm able to go out with them, they'll be gone. And so we'll repeat. I'm not stuck between where I was and where I'm going. I'm stuck between where I am and where I'm going. Does that make any sense?
Part of me wants to get away. Part of me wants to go home. Part of me wants to go back in time about 15 months to a night right after a trip to St. Louis that is still one of the most meaningful of my life. Part of me wants to fast forward about 2 years, or 5 years, or 8... just to see where I end up with all these new horizons I'm exploring. Strangely, part of me really does like learning more about New Jersey, not getting mugged, standing in dress slacks and a dress shirt at a train station with a copy of the New York Times in my hands and my new Kenneth Cole messenger bag at my side. I'm doing all these amazing things, and I really do enjoy them, but I feel like I'm trying to run just a few steps ahead of life. Not to flatter myself too much, but let's say you graduated high school at age 15. I mean.. it's sorta like... now what? Or college at, for example, 17 or 18. "You've graduated (or in my case, you have a really cool internship!)! What're you going to do now?" Sadly, my answer, at least for the first week or so, has been not too terribly much. I don't know. I'm sure I'll get out of this, and things will be golden, and I'll focus on the positive and realize how much better it is to be here than anywhere else in the world because here is where I am.
Here's to progress.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Foraging
With my move into my apartment (though not the unpacking) completed, I'm now beginning my first summer away from family. Since the school cafeteria is no longer open, and I have nobody here to prepare/give food for/to me, I came upon a somewhat startling realization. If I don't go buy food (and not just meal by meal fast food, but real food, to eat here) I will starve to death. These were the heavy stakes I had in mind as I went grocery shopping, for the first time ever buy (get it? "buy!") myself, today. The results of the shopping extravaganza at a local (but very large) grocer are detailed below.
Ssps Strawberry Banana Nectars drink, $1.89- I swear, this is like drinking an fruit smoothie. It's so, so, so good. Perhaps a new favorite of mine.
16oz of Strawberries, $2.69- I seriously haven't had fruit in a really, really long time. An old favorite makes an appearance, and it won't be the first time on this shopping list (technically, it's already the second).
Gatorade Fruit Punch, $2.99- for a whole really big bottle too. I was actually surprised how cheap all of this was.
Baker's Dipping Milk Chocolate, $2.69- Personal treat for myself. I now have microwavable chocolate in a small container to dip my strawberries in. Success!
Kellogg's Frosted Cherry Poptarts, $2.89- For in the morning when I don't have time to pick up a bagel. Again, cherry.
Freeds Mini Golden Cupcakes (a dozen), $3.19- Personal treat for myself. Will probably be gone by Tuesday. Little mini cupcakes!
Best Beef Regular Franks (ten?), $4.89- I now have hotdogs. Hot dog!
Sweet Apple Chicken Sausages (four), $5.29- Splurged a little bit on these. They're chicken sausages, which I've never had before, but looked pretty appealing. I passed up turkey sausages, beef sausages, mixed sausages, and probably some other types of sausage to pick these. Hopefully they'll live up to the hype.
Soft White Bread, $3.99- It's soft, white, and bread. Exactly what I was looking for.
Dozen rainbow rolls (sushi), $9.95- The most expensive thing on this list, and dinner tonight. This will be my first out-of-springfield Sushi eating experience. Can't say I'm not stoked.
Squeezable Concord Grape Jam, $2.49- It's jelly, for the bread. Don't even need a knife to spread.
Banquet Popcorn Chicken Meal (12 oz), $3.59- One of those frozen but microwavable dinner things. Popcorn chicken is always a pretty decent option, and one night when I'm exhausted I'll just eat this.
Pure Argentine Honey, $6.49- This was some freaking expensive honey. I don't even know what I'm going to do with it, really (honey and peanut butter sandwiches?). But hey, I've got a jar of top of the line honey. You only live once, right?
Better'n Peanut Butter (it's peanut butter, basically), $5.99- So remember that peanut butter and honey sandwich I was talking about earlier? The bread's going to be the cheapest part by over $2.00.
Hot Dog Buns (8), $2.89- Your standard hot dog buns. You'll note that hot dogs come in packs of... well we've all heard that one before.
Total cost, with tax: $62.51
Recap: Not a bad experience. Store's freaking huge, and not a big box retailer (which is why I bought the freaking expensive honey/peanut butter. I couldn't find a cheaper version). Definitely going to go for the push cart rather than held basket next time. There's more random "what the heck is that" stuff there than I could possibly ever enjoy. This is going to be a fun summer, grocery store shopping wise. They even play pop songs as you're walking around, and I saw about 18 different free sample stations. How cool is that?
Now off to pick up dry cleaning.
Ssps Strawberry Banana Nectars drink, $1.89- I swear, this is like drinking an fruit smoothie. It's so, so, so good. Perhaps a new favorite of mine.
16oz of Strawberries, $2.69- I seriously haven't had fruit in a really, really long time. An old favorite makes an appearance, and it won't be the first time on this shopping list (technically, it's already the second).
Gatorade Fruit Punch, $2.99- for a whole really big bottle too. I was actually surprised how cheap all of this was.
Baker's Dipping Milk Chocolate, $2.69- Personal treat for myself. I now have microwavable chocolate in a small container to dip my strawberries in. Success!
Kellogg's Frosted Cherry Poptarts, $2.89- For in the morning when I don't have time to pick up a bagel. Again, cherry.
Freeds Mini Golden Cupcakes (a dozen), $3.19- Personal treat for myself. Will probably be gone by Tuesday. Little mini cupcakes!
Best Beef Regular Franks (ten?), $4.89- I now have hotdogs. Hot dog!
Sweet Apple Chicken Sausages (four), $5.29- Splurged a little bit on these. They're chicken sausages, which I've never had before, but looked pretty appealing. I passed up turkey sausages, beef sausages, mixed sausages, and probably some other types of sausage to pick these. Hopefully they'll live up to the hype.
Soft White Bread, $3.99- It's soft, white, and bread. Exactly what I was looking for.
Dozen rainbow rolls (sushi), $9.95- The most expensive thing on this list, and dinner tonight. This will be my first out-of-springfield Sushi eating experience. Can't say I'm not stoked.
Squeezable Concord Grape Jam, $2.49- It's jelly, for the bread. Don't even need a knife to spread.
Banquet Popcorn Chicken Meal (12 oz), $3.59- One of those frozen but microwavable dinner things. Popcorn chicken is always a pretty decent option, and one night when I'm exhausted I'll just eat this.
Pure Argentine Honey, $6.49- This was some freaking expensive honey. I don't even know what I'm going to do with it, really (honey and peanut butter sandwiches?). But hey, I've got a jar of top of the line honey. You only live once, right?
Better'n Peanut Butter (it's peanut butter, basically), $5.99- So remember that peanut butter and honey sandwich I was talking about earlier? The bread's going to be the cheapest part by over $2.00.
Hot Dog Buns (8), $2.89- Your standard hot dog buns. You'll note that hot dogs come in packs of... well we've all heard that one before.
Total cost, with tax: $62.51
Recap: Not a bad experience. Store's freaking huge, and not a big box retailer (which is why I bought the freaking expensive honey/peanut butter. I couldn't find a cheaper version). Definitely going to go for the push cart rather than held basket next time. There's more random "what the heck is that" stuff there than I could possibly ever enjoy. This is going to be a fun summer, grocery store shopping wise. They even play pop songs as you're walking around, and I saw about 18 different free sample stations. How cool is that?
Now off to pick up dry cleaning.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
The end of the beginning
One year down (to those of you reading this at Northwestern, good luck on midterms!). In many ways I feel like I'm the same guy that couldn't stop crying when I left Kim last August, but in a lot of other ways I feel like that person is somebody I used to know (and, at times, would like to rediscover). There's a quote from somewhere, I forget where, that says that once man has changed the relationship between himself and his environment, he can never go back to the blissful ignorance from which he came. A change in perception, by necessity, requires a change of location.
It still feels unbelievable the top of this blog now says "sophomore" instead of "freshman" (I'll give you a moment to go check... okay). I've met some really cool people out here, many of which I probably don't know about yet, and a number of other non-cool ones. I can't wait to be 21 and go out more, but most of the people with whom I would want to go out will have graduated at that time. I miss all of you reading this terribly, and can't believe I'm not going to see you all for another 3 or 4 months (and then only for a short while). Part of me hates growing up, but part of me thinks this is what I've wanted to do for the last... 5 years at least. I mean, I'm going to intern with people who, legit, work with survivors of the Darfur genocide and represent their interests before THE International Criminal Court in the The Hague. How cool is that? On the other hand, I miss a lot about Missouri. I miss driving around just for the hell of it, listening to 90s music, prepping for public forum, climbing into Kim's bed for an hour and a half after school to just cuddle, talking about politics with people that actually understand where I'm coming from on a daily basis, sharing new music with people (wow, this list is getting long). I don't know. I'm sure next year will be completely awesome, and I'll have a ton of fun, and stories, and all that, but I still haven't decided if this coast is necessarily the place for me in the long term. Until then, however, here's to the now. Wherever this finds you, I hope you're all well. I hope you've enjoyed listening.
It still feels unbelievable the top of this blog now says "sophomore" instead of "freshman" (I'll give you a moment to go check... okay). I've met some really cool people out here, many of which I probably don't know about yet, and a number of other non-cool ones. I can't wait to be 21 and go out more, but most of the people with whom I would want to go out will have graduated at that time. I miss all of you reading this terribly, and can't believe I'm not going to see you all for another 3 or 4 months (and then only for a short while). Part of me hates growing up, but part of me thinks this is what I've wanted to do for the last... 5 years at least. I mean, I'm going to intern with people who, legit, work with survivors of the Darfur genocide and represent their interests before THE International Criminal Court in the The Hague. How cool is that? On the other hand, I miss a lot about Missouri. I miss driving around just for the hell of it, listening to 90s music, prepping for public forum, climbing into Kim's bed for an hour and a half after school to just cuddle, talking about politics with people that actually understand where I'm coming from on a daily basis, sharing new music with people (wow, this list is getting long). I don't know. I'm sure next year will be completely awesome, and I'll have a ton of fun, and stories, and all that, but I still haven't decided if this coast is necessarily the place for me in the long term. Until then, however, here's to the now. Wherever this finds you, I hope you're all well. I hope you've enjoyed listening.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
I now have an internship!
I managed to get a summer internship in Newark, so I probably won't be coming home much this summer. Most of the people that read this blog I've spoken to about this personally, but I'll post a more detailed description of my activities sometime later this week. While you wait, here's a really amazing article about "Modern Genius" from David Brooks in the NY Times yesterday:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/01/opinion/01brooks.html?ref=opinion
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/01/opinion/01brooks.html?ref=opinion
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
If you happen to be bored
Fascinating Op-Ed in the NY Times a couple of days ago about the role of universities in education. Since most... all?... of us are in college, I though this would be a fun read. If you happen to be bored, take a look.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/27/opinion/27taylor.html?pagewanted=2&em
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/27/opinion/27taylor.html?pagewanted=2&em
Sunday, April 26, 2009
I have a room!
It's 10 minutes from campus, fully furnished, $575 a month plus utilities (which apparently aren't that much), fully working kitchen, washer and dryer, closet space and drawers, etc. Now I only need one more thing for my summer internship to be complete:
A summer internship.
A summer internship.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Time to save the world
My life has certainly been hectic lately. It seems crazy to think that eight months ago I had no greater care in the world than being with Kimberly for one more week and wondering what Seton Hall would be all about. Now, due to a variety of circumstances that have occurred in, quite literally, the last five or six days, I don't know where I'm going to be spending my summer, what I'm going to be doing with my summer, who I'm going to be living with next year, where I'll be living next year, where all of my stuff is going to be stored this summer, and a number of other seemingly vital things that I should have figured out by now with my exodus from the dorms being necessary as of May 8. As Bailey Warren, a Central student who is considering going to Seton Hall next year, put it to her mom when I told her and her mother about my predicament, "See mom? That's how you do it; you just kinda wing it." Part of me is really excited for this opportunity to "wing it" but part of me is shouting, somewhere in the recesses of my mind, that this is all a terrible, terrible idea.
My relationship with growing up has been tedious at times. College has never felt like home like I feel some of you reading this blog have experienced. While I've never seriously considered transferring for financial reasons (and that'd be admitting failure, and freshman year sucks anyway, and blah blah blah), a number of times I've thought to myself "What on earth am I doing in New Jersey?" Of course, had I gone to Truman State instead of here, I would probably often find myself wondering what on earth I was doing in Kirksville a lot too, so I'm not entirely sure this is necessarily a total negative.
On the positive side, the opportunity that has been presented to me (or at least, has the potential to be presented to me) is quite simply amazing. Ashley Williams, a junior (senior by credits, I think) who's become a relatively close acquaintance of mine in Public International Law (or at least, as close as one can get to an acquaintance), is currently interning at a law firm in Newark that, among other things, works with victims of the Darfur genocide in hopes that one day, whenever/if-ever Sudan's president is arrested by the International Criminal Court, people she has spoken with will have the opportunity to testify in The Hague, in the Netherlands. In a couple of weeks she'll literally be sitting across the desk from black Sudanese people missing limbs because of the armed militias that have murdered hundreds of thousands of people and saying "tell me what happened" and waiting for their response to be translated to English from Arabic. There are other parts to the job in addition to conducting interviews, of course, but, as my father and I have discussed many times, these aren't the sort of opportunities one gets in Missouri. Ashley claimed she'd really been talking me up with their hiring manager and they were really looking for interns over the summer, so if I was going to be around I should apply. Since this seems better for my eventual career than working at Andy's or Go Games for four months, I submitted my resume Friday and have been almost constantly on the lookout for a response. If I do end up getting one of the interning positions, which Ashley has assured me is all but certain, I have about 14 days to find a place to sublet over the summer, store my stuff, figure out with whom/where I'll be living next year (it probably won't be on campus due to the cost of me spending money instead of making it over the summer) and worry about things that I've never really had to worry about before (How do I cook this? Where does one get a good couch? Which subway line is that again?). Instead of seeing my parents and little brother (who I learned today got a 30 on his ACT as a sophomore- go David!) after 8 weeks, it'll be more like 4-6 months. While moving to New Jersey for college was definitely a break from the past, before now I've still felt inextricably tied back to home because of my lack of a permanent (semi-permanent) place to live out here. I'm away at college, but I live in Missouri. After this move, if everything works out and I get the position, I feel like this is finally, almost-completely, jumping off the cliff.
I guess this had to happen eventually. Talking to people about internships, asking all of my older friends here if they know anybody looking for an apartment roommate, and doing dry cleaning because I might actually have to wear a suit for a reason other than a debate tournament (among other things) makes me feel terribly adult. It's like I'm (potentially) important now, I have (potential) obligations, I'm doing things my grandma in Joplin probably never dreamed I could do. I'm not just that guy that works in that mall, I'm (potentially) interning for a law firm that is one of the cogs that makes international law somewhat real instead of only an abstract idea. I could have something on my resume for which other professionals would actually be impressed. More than once in the past week, I've looked around and asked myself "How did I get here?" On the other hand, I feel like there are a LOT fewer safety nets than anywhere else in my life. Even though I was at Seton Hall, I knew exactly when I was going home, what I was doing with my stuff all summer, what I was doing next year--everything was all planned out. Now, if I don't find a place to keep my stuff by May 8... then there's nowhere for my stuff to go. There's no "oops, bail me out" button that I can press without me physically going around and asking people to press it. It's so vastly different than having my parents around, and it's much more real than them leaving last August. From Bailey's perspective, what I'm doing is probably terribly exciting. From my perspective it's certainly exciting, but I feel an incredible degree of uncertainty with all of these proceedings. I guess that's to be expected.
In so many of the stories we've grown up reading (well, okay, I've grown up reading), the hero, at some point, always has to leave home to go on some journey, during which he or she will meet a memorable cast of characters, learn a lot about themselves, face seemingly impossible obstacles, and eventually, through a great feat of some kind or another, end up saving the world. Like so many people growing up, I've had visions of myself going somewhere far away, doing something incredible with my life, becoming a "somebody" that everybody else, in their normal, uninteresting lives, looks up to, admires, and wonders how on earth I did it. The difference now, at least the difference from now and any time before in my life, is that I'm actually faced with the opportunity to "go" and make something of myself on my own merits. Finding a house to sublet in South Orange is not something my Dad can help me with. Getting an internship with a law firm in Newark or with the United Nations isn't something where my mom can put in a good word for me. But, unlike a lot of people that grow up thinking they'll go far away that end up staying right next door their entire lives, I'm actually taking advantage of this (potential) opportunity. Maybe after college I'll move back to Missouri, go to law school, and live in Kansas City the rest of my life. Maybe I'll go to graduate school in Texas, or Florida, or Boston, or California, or Denver. All of this potential has always been "potential", but now, for really the first time (including when I picked to come out to Seton Hall), I feel like I'm actually (potentially) beginning to, in a small way, start making something of myself. I have no idea if I'll love it or hate it, if I will excel or fail miserably. But I know, or at least hope, that from now on out in my life I'll be doing something because of who I am, what I've done, who I know. Here I go. It seems like as good a time as any to start trying to save the world.
My relationship with growing up has been tedious at times. College has never felt like home like I feel some of you reading this blog have experienced. While I've never seriously considered transferring for financial reasons (and that'd be admitting failure, and freshman year sucks anyway, and blah blah blah), a number of times I've thought to myself "What on earth am I doing in New Jersey?" Of course, had I gone to Truman State instead of here, I would probably often find myself wondering what on earth I was doing in Kirksville a lot too, so I'm not entirely sure this is necessarily a total negative.
On the positive side, the opportunity that has been presented to me (or at least, has the potential to be presented to me) is quite simply amazing. Ashley Williams, a junior (senior by credits, I think) who's become a relatively close acquaintance of mine in Public International Law (or at least, as close as one can get to an acquaintance), is currently interning at a law firm in Newark that, among other things, works with victims of the Darfur genocide in hopes that one day, whenever/if-ever Sudan's president is arrested by the International Criminal Court, people she has spoken with will have the opportunity to testify in The Hague, in the Netherlands. In a couple of weeks she'll literally be sitting across the desk from black Sudanese people missing limbs because of the armed militias that have murdered hundreds of thousands of people and saying "tell me what happened" and waiting for their response to be translated to English from Arabic. There are other parts to the job in addition to conducting interviews, of course, but, as my father and I have discussed many times, these aren't the sort of opportunities one gets in Missouri. Ashley claimed she'd really been talking me up with their hiring manager and they were really looking for interns over the summer, so if I was going to be around I should apply. Since this seems better for my eventual career than working at Andy's or Go Games for four months, I submitted my resume Friday and have been almost constantly on the lookout for a response. If I do end up getting one of the interning positions, which Ashley has assured me is all but certain, I have about 14 days to find a place to sublet over the summer, store my stuff, figure out with whom/where I'll be living next year (it probably won't be on campus due to the cost of me spending money instead of making it over the summer) and worry about things that I've never really had to worry about before (How do I cook this? Where does one get a good couch? Which subway line is that again?). Instead of seeing my parents and little brother (who I learned today got a 30 on his ACT as a sophomore- go David!) after 8 weeks, it'll be more like 4-6 months. While moving to New Jersey for college was definitely a break from the past, before now I've still felt inextricably tied back to home because of my lack of a permanent (semi-permanent) place to live out here. I'm away at college, but I live in Missouri. After this move, if everything works out and I get the position, I feel like this is finally, almost-completely, jumping off the cliff.
I guess this had to happen eventually. Talking to people about internships, asking all of my older friends here if they know anybody looking for an apartment roommate, and doing dry cleaning because I might actually have to wear a suit for a reason other than a debate tournament (among other things) makes me feel terribly adult. It's like I'm (potentially) important now, I have (potential) obligations, I'm doing things my grandma in Joplin probably never dreamed I could do. I'm not just that guy that works in that mall, I'm (potentially) interning for a law firm that is one of the cogs that makes international law somewhat real instead of only an abstract idea. I could have something on my resume for which other professionals would actually be impressed. More than once in the past week, I've looked around and asked myself "How did I get here?" On the other hand, I feel like there are a LOT fewer safety nets than anywhere else in my life. Even though I was at Seton Hall, I knew exactly when I was going home, what I was doing with my stuff all summer, what I was doing next year--everything was all planned out. Now, if I don't find a place to keep my stuff by May 8... then there's nowhere for my stuff to go. There's no "oops, bail me out" button that I can press without me physically going around and asking people to press it. It's so vastly different than having my parents around, and it's much more real than them leaving last August. From Bailey's perspective, what I'm doing is probably terribly exciting. From my perspective it's certainly exciting, but I feel an incredible degree of uncertainty with all of these proceedings. I guess that's to be expected.
In so many of the stories we've grown up reading (well, okay, I've grown up reading), the hero, at some point, always has to leave home to go on some journey, during which he or she will meet a memorable cast of characters, learn a lot about themselves, face seemingly impossible obstacles, and eventually, through a great feat of some kind or another, end up saving the world. Like so many people growing up, I've had visions of myself going somewhere far away, doing something incredible with my life, becoming a "somebody" that everybody else, in their normal, uninteresting lives, looks up to, admires, and wonders how on earth I did it. The difference now, at least the difference from now and any time before in my life, is that I'm actually faced with the opportunity to "go" and make something of myself on my own merits. Finding a house to sublet in South Orange is not something my Dad can help me with. Getting an internship with a law firm in Newark or with the United Nations isn't something where my mom can put in a good word for me. But, unlike a lot of people that grow up thinking they'll go far away that end up staying right next door their entire lives, I'm actually taking advantage of this (potential) opportunity. Maybe after college I'll move back to Missouri, go to law school, and live in Kansas City the rest of my life. Maybe I'll go to graduate school in Texas, or Florida, or Boston, or California, or Denver. All of this potential has always been "potential", but now, for really the first time (including when I picked to come out to Seton Hall), I feel like I'm actually (potentially) beginning to, in a small way, start making something of myself. I have no idea if I'll love it or hate it, if I will excel or fail miserably. But I know, or at least hope, that from now on out in my life I'll be doing something because of who I am, what I've done, who I know. Here I go. It seems like as good a time as any to start trying to save the world.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
For all of you that have been dealing with me for the past 5 days
Thanks for putting up with me. The issue has been resolved, for the most part, and while I suspect there may be more emotional swings for me in the near future all in all I've managed to grab some peace of mind. This hasn't exactly been the most wonderful time of my life, and I appreciate greatly all of you that bothered to listen to my psychoanalyzing literally everything until I drove myself crazy. Over the next 4 or 5 days I plan to crawl into a small hole, sleep, and let the vast majority of this become some disillusioned memory. I love all of you. Thank you again.
Monday, April 6, 2009
A fundamental change of circumstances
Article 62 of the 1960 Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties says that if states undergo a fundamental change in circumstances with regards to a treaty obligation upheld by that state, the state can "get out" of their treaty obligation even though one of the peremptory norms of international law is that treaties should be upheld. A fundamental change in circumstances has to be a pretty big deal for it to count in international law. For example, a classic case where a state tried and failed to use the fundamental change of circumstances excuse was when state A had an obligation to construct a dam with state B on the border of their two countries. After over a decade of construction (and the breakup of the Soviet Union), it was looking like state A wasn't going to get such a good deal out of the treaty. In attempting to withdraw, they argued there had been a number of fundamental changes of circumstances that had occurred since the treaty was signed, among them the newly discovered negative environmental impact of the dam in addition to the other massive unforeseen economic problems they had to deal with because of their transition from a socialist economy to a capitalist economy. The International Court of Justice, deciding the case, rule that the economic fallout from the breakup of one of the two super powers of the second half of the 20th century did not constitute a fundamental change in circumstances, and neither did the possible environmental damage the dam could cause. For a fundamental change of circumstances to occur negating the treaty, they reasoned, something really drastic would have to occur-- like the drying up of the whole freaking river.
I tend to be a lot like the justices on the International Court of Justice when it comes to looking at fundamental changes of circumstances. Often times, when it would be easier, or more convenient, to simply say "life's changed, let's move on", I have a tendency to stick around a lot more often than most other people I've spoken with would. Lately (especially lately) I've been prone to more self reflection on why this is. I've rehashed the possibilities with the majority of you that know about and can check this space on a regular basis at some point or another, but regardless of any deeper psychological reasoning behind it, I still find myself believing some greater good will come out of the situation, that giving up would be the "easy way out". At times I wonder if this is a profound way of looking at the world, or if I'm just profoundly stupid. Since my life's motto is, essentially "things fall apart", one would wonder why, when things do start falling apart, I feel as though I have a moral obligation to rush in and start trying to hold things up regardless of the apparent pointlessness of doing so. If a child touches a hot stove and is burned, does any sane child try to keep touching the hot stove to make it cool down? Is that really any different from what I sometimes do?
While this post is somewhat related to recent events, focusing on one solitary problem inevitably begins to sound whiny. A recent book review, on Slate.com of a book called "Don't Cry", said that the author, whose name I unfortunately have forgotten, essentially wrote a book portraying all human tragedy as equal. We don't think in those terms-- to us, a woman losing her new born baby is a lot more tragic than somebody missing somebody else after a one-night stand-- but the author wrote a series of very short stories, one right after another, describing varieties of human suffering. One scene shows a wife in an abusive relationship, another a lonely traveler in an airport, and another a man consumed by his work. All, the author seems to say, are equal; one can't categorize human tragedy. The title of the book, "Don't Cry", is actually ironic in that the entire point of the book is that it's okay to cry no matter how minor or trivial one's situation may seem to the rest of society, it's personal, real, and hurts to the person experiencing it. The book reviewer points out that the possible implications of people in real life treating human suffering as equal would be enormous, that we'd essentially never stop crying.
As I've grown older, I've held on to the somewhat romantic notion that despite anything, things can and will work out if we just try hard enough. However, the repeated instances of things not working out, or at least not being nearly as simple as I believe they should be, have begun to make me question this notion. Am I just a kid putting my hand on the stove over and over? Does growing up mean you become more callous to the suffering around you, that you learn to suck it up and move on and screw over everybody else because they're just out to screw you? Or does growing up mean realizing, truly, that it's no sign of health to be well acclimated to a fatally sick world, that when things are uncomfortable, awkward, stressful, painful, it's okay to give yourself a while to not just "get over it"? Does the former allow you to live your life with less pain? Does the latter mean you get to keep a hold of something something actually resembling life as it should be? Is there a right answer? Should my views change?
As I grow up, and keep experiencing all of the drama that's associated with life with fewer and fewer filters, I really don't know if I'm progressing, regressing, or actually experiencing something close to a real fundamental change in circumstances.
I tend to be a lot like the justices on the International Court of Justice when it comes to looking at fundamental changes of circumstances. Often times, when it would be easier, or more convenient, to simply say "life's changed, let's move on", I have a tendency to stick around a lot more often than most other people I've spoken with would. Lately (especially lately) I've been prone to more self reflection on why this is. I've rehashed the possibilities with the majority of you that know about and can check this space on a regular basis at some point or another, but regardless of any deeper psychological reasoning behind it, I still find myself believing some greater good will come out of the situation, that giving up would be the "easy way out". At times I wonder if this is a profound way of looking at the world, or if I'm just profoundly stupid. Since my life's motto is, essentially "things fall apart", one would wonder why, when things do start falling apart, I feel as though I have a moral obligation to rush in and start trying to hold things up regardless of the apparent pointlessness of doing so. If a child touches a hot stove and is burned, does any sane child try to keep touching the hot stove to make it cool down? Is that really any different from what I sometimes do?
While this post is somewhat related to recent events, focusing on one solitary problem inevitably begins to sound whiny. A recent book review, on Slate.com of a book called "Don't Cry", said that the author, whose name I unfortunately have forgotten, essentially wrote a book portraying all human tragedy as equal. We don't think in those terms-- to us, a woman losing her new born baby is a lot more tragic than somebody missing somebody else after a one-night stand-- but the author wrote a series of very short stories, one right after another, describing varieties of human suffering. One scene shows a wife in an abusive relationship, another a lonely traveler in an airport, and another a man consumed by his work. All, the author seems to say, are equal; one can't categorize human tragedy. The title of the book, "Don't Cry", is actually ironic in that the entire point of the book is that it's okay to cry no matter how minor or trivial one's situation may seem to the rest of society, it's personal, real, and hurts to the person experiencing it. The book reviewer points out that the possible implications of people in real life treating human suffering as equal would be enormous, that we'd essentially never stop crying.
As I've grown older, I've held on to the somewhat romantic notion that despite anything, things can and will work out if we just try hard enough. However, the repeated instances of things not working out, or at least not being nearly as simple as I believe they should be, have begun to make me question this notion. Am I just a kid putting my hand on the stove over and over? Does growing up mean you become more callous to the suffering around you, that you learn to suck it up and move on and screw over everybody else because they're just out to screw you? Or does growing up mean realizing, truly, that it's no sign of health to be well acclimated to a fatally sick world, that when things are uncomfortable, awkward, stressful, painful, it's okay to give yourself a while to not just "get over it"? Does the former allow you to live your life with less pain? Does the latter mean you get to keep a hold of something something actually resembling life as it should be? Is there a right answer? Should my views change?
As I grow up, and keep experiencing all of the drama that's associated with life with fewer and fewer filters, I really don't know if I'm progressing, regressing, or actually experiencing something close to a real fundamental change in circumstances.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
The vital need for EATING, POTATO
This blog post is a brief tangent from my personal life to discuss what I'm actually learning at the John C Whitehead School of Diplomacy and International Relations at Seton Hall University. Not that I learned any of this in school, per se, but it's the type of thing I feel like I should be learning and/or discussing in school. This post is actually the result of a conversation with my father.
Last week, a very important birthday occurred. (Look, it's an attention getting device! Doesn't it make you want to read on to find out whose birthday occurred, and why it's important, and what all of this means? I'm practicing my newspaper writing skills; I'm thinking about trying to write for a paper or two next year on campus to boost my activity points since apparently you have to be involved in at least TWO clubs, instead of just one, to get full priority points for housing. Anyway...) The North Atlantic Treaty Organization, or NATO to its friends, turned 60 years old. NATO is widely regarded to be one of the most important and successful military alliances in history, allowing the United States to reinforce the defense of Western Europe against the Soviet Union during the Cold War (if this were a research paper I'd give you a link or a footnote here. Since it's a newspaper article, I can just make these unsubstantiated claims. This could just be my opinion, for all you know). In fact, NATO was so successful that it never had to be used (the Soviets never attacked Western Europe), which is the hallmark of any strategy based on deterrence. The Soviet Union collapsed, the Berlin wall fell, and the principle reason for NATO's existence ceased to, well, exist.
However, NATO didn't go away with the fall of the Soviet Union. Though primarily a defensive alliance, in the 1990s and now 2000s NATO has expanded across Europe, first taking in Central and Central-Eastern European countries like Poland and the Czech Republic before expanding even further Eastward to countries like Romania and Bulgaria. Many US policy analysts wanted to use NATO as a tool for the military integration of Europe with the US at the head, and many countries in the former Soviet Union wanted to join to protect themselves from a Russia many still did not trust (it's another unsubstantiated claim, but you trust me, right?).
While there was a rational reason to expand NATO, as well as a rational reason for Eastern European countries to want to be included, Russia has not taken kindly to what it views as US intervention and meddling in its perceived sphere of influence. Last year, after Ukrainian and Georgian entry into NATO was debated among NATO members, Russia and Georgia got into a war highlighting Russian tension with the idea of continued Western expansion right up to its borders. This event caused some in the alliance to question the wisdom of having a "mutual defense pact" (an attack on one is an attack on all) with a small country right on the Russian border with a lot of unresolved ethnic problems and border disputes since the fall of the USSR. Is it in America's best interests to pledge to fight Russia over Tbilisi?
Further cracks in the alliance have appeared as a result of the war in Afghanistan. While the members of NATO, for the first time, invoked the mutual defense pact after the 9/11 attacks, it has been difficult for the United States to get its European allies to shoulder what the US views as their share of the burden in the Afghanistan conflict. Meanwhile, it is arguable US forces still deployed in Germany could be of much better use in Afghanistan, or elsewhere around the world. Much like General Motors (I stole this comparison from the internet), NATO is an organization that has stood the test of time, but now needs real changes in order to remain viable in a changing world.
In recent years, NATO has been used to essentially allow Europe to free-ride on the United States, who have essentially been paying for Europe's defense. While there is still the need for protection against Russia, and the need to integrate Eastern European countries into the broader European community, a US-led NATO is not the appropriate organization. In the present time Europe is more than capable of defending itself without US assistance against Russia should the need arise, because Europe is not the war torn Europe of the early 1950s and Russia is not the Soviet Union. The United States also has a vital need for troops currently stationed in Europe to be available to be deployed in other areas around the world with both troops and funds in short supply. Additionally, the European Union has been a great uniting force for Europe, and increases economic instead of military ties, allowing for Eastern European countries to be included while being much less threatening to Russia and performing the task of European integration much better than NATO probably ever could in its present form.
Therefore, the United States should suggest a fundamental restructuring of NATO into a new European Defense organization without US involvement. This organization could be called the European-Asian Treaty Institution for Nominal Governance (EATING), and would allow Europe (and Turkey, thus "Asian") to provide for a combined defense force for the continent against any possible Russian aggression. The United States should then, with other major allies the world over, form an alliance not based on geography but based on the shared values of liberal democracy. This alliance would include countries like the United States, India, Japan, Poland, Australia, Canada, Israel, and the UK and pledge itself to the defense of democratic values the world over, called the Peace in Our Time Alliance Treaty Organization (POTATO). Through EATING and POTATO, both Europe's defense will have been secured without burdening the United States, freeing up US troops to enter into a new global alliance uniting members of liberal democracies dedicated to preserving and protecting that form of government worldwide.
I hereby call on the world to begin EATING and POTATO as soon as possible.
(By the way, despite the ridiculousness of the names I've come up with for the sole purpose of making my title look funny, I really think this idea has some merits. It'll probably never happen due to institutional inertia, but we can dream, right? At least, that's what I think.)
Last week, a very important birthday occurred. (Look, it's an attention getting device! Doesn't it make you want to read on to find out whose birthday occurred, and why it's important, and what all of this means? I'm practicing my newspaper writing skills; I'm thinking about trying to write for a paper or two next year on campus to boost my activity points since apparently you have to be involved in at least TWO clubs, instead of just one, to get full priority points for housing. Anyway...) The North Atlantic Treaty Organization, or NATO to its friends, turned 60 years old. NATO is widely regarded to be one of the most important and successful military alliances in history, allowing the United States to reinforce the defense of Western Europe against the Soviet Union during the Cold War (if this were a research paper I'd give you a link or a footnote here. Since it's a newspaper article, I can just make these unsubstantiated claims. This could just be my opinion, for all you know). In fact, NATO was so successful that it never had to be used (the Soviets never attacked Western Europe), which is the hallmark of any strategy based on deterrence. The Soviet Union collapsed, the Berlin wall fell, and the principle reason for NATO's existence ceased to, well, exist.
However, NATO didn't go away with the fall of the Soviet Union. Though primarily a defensive alliance, in the 1990s and now 2000s NATO has expanded across Europe, first taking in Central and Central-Eastern European countries like Poland and the Czech Republic before expanding even further Eastward to countries like Romania and Bulgaria. Many US policy analysts wanted to use NATO as a tool for the military integration of Europe with the US at the head, and many countries in the former Soviet Union wanted to join to protect themselves from a Russia many still did not trust (it's another unsubstantiated claim, but you trust me, right?).
While there was a rational reason to expand NATO, as well as a rational reason for Eastern European countries to want to be included, Russia has not taken kindly to what it views as US intervention and meddling in its perceived sphere of influence. Last year, after Ukrainian and Georgian entry into NATO was debated among NATO members, Russia and Georgia got into a war highlighting Russian tension with the idea of continued Western expansion right up to its borders. This event caused some in the alliance to question the wisdom of having a "mutual defense pact" (an attack on one is an attack on all) with a small country right on the Russian border with a lot of unresolved ethnic problems and border disputes since the fall of the USSR. Is it in America's best interests to pledge to fight Russia over Tbilisi?
Further cracks in the alliance have appeared as a result of the war in Afghanistan. While the members of NATO, for the first time, invoked the mutual defense pact after the 9/11 attacks, it has been difficult for the United States to get its European allies to shoulder what the US views as their share of the burden in the Afghanistan conflict. Meanwhile, it is arguable US forces still deployed in Germany could be of much better use in Afghanistan, or elsewhere around the world. Much like General Motors (I stole this comparison from the internet), NATO is an organization that has stood the test of time, but now needs real changes in order to remain viable in a changing world.
In recent years, NATO has been used to essentially allow Europe to free-ride on the United States, who have essentially been paying for Europe's defense. While there is still the need for protection against Russia, and the need to integrate Eastern European countries into the broader European community, a US-led NATO is not the appropriate organization. In the present time Europe is more than capable of defending itself without US assistance against Russia should the need arise, because Europe is not the war torn Europe of the early 1950s and Russia is not the Soviet Union. The United States also has a vital need for troops currently stationed in Europe to be available to be deployed in other areas around the world with both troops and funds in short supply. Additionally, the European Union has been a great uniting force for Europe, and increases economic instead of military ties, allowing for Eastern European countries to be included while being much less threatening to Russia and performing the task of European integration much better than NATO probably ever could in its present form.
Therefore, the United States should suggest a fundamental restructuring of NATO into a new European Defense organization without US involvement. This organization could be called the European-Asian Treaty Institution for Nominal Governance (EATING), and would allow Europe (and Turkey, thus "Asian") to provide for a combined defense force for the continent against any possible Russian aggression. The United States should then, with other major allies the world over, form an alliance not based on geography but based on the shared values of liberal democracy. This alliance would include countries like the United States, India, Japan, Poland, Australia, Canada, Israel, and the UK and pledge itself to the defense of democratic values the world over, called the Peace in Our Time Alliance Treaty Organization (POTATO). Through EATING and POTATO, both Europe's defense will have been secured without burdening the United States, freeing up US troops to enter into a new global alliance uniting members of liberal democracies dedicated to preserving and protecting that form of government worldwide.
I hereby call on the world to begin EATING and POTATO as soon as possible.
(By the way, despite the ridiculousness of the names I've come up with for the sole purpose of making my title look funny, I really think this idea has some merits. It'll probably never happen due to institutional inertia, but we can dream, right? At least, that's what I think.)
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
I am utterly and totally confused
I've just completed our lesson nine Russian "test", which is something I've been dreading for about a week. Last night, between 6 and 7 pm, I started studying the chapter and continued to do so, more or less, until around 1 am. I then spent another hour or two studying this morning (sleeping in/skipping honors in the process, for which I was completely unprepared anyway because of Russian studying). We arrive in class, and the professor announces we're going to do the test "in pairs". We do the test together, switch tests, check each others' work, then turn the test in (as an aside, had it been and individual test I knew most of the answers). When I asked if/how it was going to be graded, being, I think, understandably befuddled, our professor said that I was "another one" who was "worried about grades" and that the "important thing is that you're learning." She then said "I know what your grade is." I... think this is good? If this was an in class assignment for participation, why did I spend 8 hours and skip a class to study for it? What... why...
I hate this language.
I hate this language.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Running
I really need to do more short, quick updates, so I can keep everyone apprised of what's going on in my life without having to do a 14 paragraph update. It's sort of like laundry- the more it backs up, the more you don't want to do it, the more it... etc. The last 6 weeks of my life, minus anything that happened the first two days of spring break, will be condensed into the following "paragraph":
February: Basically classes. SURF: Got a mentor, the funding disappeared. Room/suitemates: the same (though Mike... well... that's more recent). Friends: Meh. Honors: 3 hour long conversation with Dr. Ahr, with lots of funny stories. My future: Five year plan (no), Grad school (no, yes, no, maybe), Law school (where'd this come from? perhaps/yes), relationships (if somebody asked nicely. maybe. I may be taking a long hiatus.), living arrangements (off campus in New Jersey next summer?). March: see February, only with midterms (which I rocked), until, sort of, last night (which is where our story will resume).
Now that that's out of the way...
Last night was interesting. After getting back home from Slavic club a little after 7:00, I returned to find my room completely trashed. Toilet paper and duct tape everywhere, syrup on the door handle, my toothbrush taped to the wall. My suitemates had done it to play a joke on my roommate Ralph, who had left earlier that day and wouldn't be back until Monday. Morons. As I was leaving to get our RA (not that I was actually going to get her, you know) they both apologized and said they'd clean it all up. I said great, and proceeded to go to the train station, for my first trip into NYC of the semester.
Despite the steady downpour, I had a rather enjoyable time in NYC. I wandered around Times Square, hung out in this 3 story Toys "Я" Us with a Ferris Wheel, went to Borders and got a book (and listened to a woman describe in graphic detail her sexual exploits on the phone to one of her friends an aisle over. She compared her partner, favorably, to a monkey at one point). I returned home, read some of my book, watched some basketball, and generally had a wonderfully relaxing night. I was all set to go a museum in the city with our Honors class at 11:00 this morning.
Things then got progressively worse.
At 11:18, Natalie texted me, asking where I was. This woke me up, as I'd manage to set my alarm for 9:30 PM. I put on pants, literally sprinted across Seton Hall, and end up at the bus station at 11:29, after it had left at 11:27. I then, again, after having just sprinted across campus, without showering or doing anything I normally do upon waking up, proceed to walk down to the train station, get on a train, go into the city, and take a taxi (totally, altogether, about $40 of my own money) to get to the museum at 1:08, just in time for our tour to start at 1:20. You see, the entire reason Ahr was in such a hurry to leave, was that WE HAD TO GET TO THE MUSEUM IN TIME FOR THE 1:20 TOUR. I meet up with everybody (they'd already all gone in) and ask Chris, one of my lunch friends, when they got to the museum. He says about 12:15, and they'd been on the tour for about 50 minutes. Dan: Seriously? Chris: Seriously. Dan: *cursing*. I don't know how, exactly, one can misjudge the time it takes to get somewhere one has been before by 45 minutes on a 45 minute drive, but they'd managed to. This meant I'd managed to make it just in time to see the last 2 pieces of art on the tour. Then it was over, and we had 2.5 hours of "free time" to "hang out" before the bus left at 4:00.
At about 3:00, one other person who had driven there was leaving (Ia), so I grabbed a ride with her instead of wait for the bus to come back. As we were crossing the bridge back into New Jersey, I realized I didn't have my coat with me. After an unsuccessful rescue attempt by Natalie, I'll be going back to the museum next Friday to retrieve my jacket. To recap, at 4:00 I was exhausted, $40 poorer, without a jacket, gross, and had, for my troubles, gained about 10 minutes of guided art-learning. I think I lost.
After sleeping, I managed to actually go eat dinner and go out to see a movie with future roommate/suitemate Mike. This is the first time he's been on campus during the weekend this semester, so we drove a couple towns over and saw I love you, man. If anybody from the Seton Hall administration is listening, for the love of God, LET US HAVE CARS ON CAMPUS. I have two incredible complaints about this university: 1) everybody goes home on the weekends and 2) we can't have cars. Having a car really changes everything. The movie was pretty good, and funny, and vaguely resembled sort of the relationship Mike and I have developed over the past 6 months. Since most of my friends have been primarily female, and certainly those that I talk to on a regular basis (I think all of my blog readers are female, actually), this is sort of... cool. Not like I haven't had guy friends before (Chris Land, Nick Henderson) but, you know, it's nice to have that rapport with somebody you actually live in the same state with. At dinner before the movie, Mike, instead of talking about Monique's ass, talked about how Monique's mother was crazy, which was causing Monique to be crazy, which... it's sort of a long story (and unimportant overall to my blog), but as the semester has gone on, I realize I'm beginning to feel more confident in saying he's actually a legitimately, for the most part, nice individual. Go figure.
That's the fast update. Nothing incredibly profound. I'll try to write more, and about more than just my life play-by-play style, in the future. I love you all.
February: Basically classes. SURF: Got a mentor, the funding disappeared. Room/suitemates: the same (though Mike... well... that's more recent). Friends: Meh. Honors: 3 hour long conversation with Dr. Ahr, with lots of funny stories. My future: Five year plan (no), Grad school (no, yes, no, maybe), Law school (where'd this come from? perhaps/yes), relationships (if somebody asked nicely. maybe. I may be taking a long hiatus.), living arrangements (off campus in New Jersey next summer?). March: see February, only with midterms (which I rocked), until, sort of, last night (which is where our story will resume).
Now that that's out of the way...
Last night was interesting. After getting back home from Slavic club a little after 7:00, I returned to find my room completely trashed. Toilet paper and duct tape everywhere, syrup on the door handle, my toothbrush taped to the wall. My suitemates had done it to play a joke on my roommate Ralph, who had left earlier that day and wouldn't be back until Monday. Morons. As I was leaving to get our RA (not that I was actually going to get her, you know) they both apologized and said they'd clean it all up. I said great, and proceeded to go to the train station, for my first trip into NYC of the semester.
Despite the steady downpour, I had a rather enjoyable time in NYC. I wandered around Times Square, hung out in this 3 story Toys "Я" Us with a Ferris Wheel, went to Borders and got a book (and listened to a woman describe in graphic detail her sexual exploits on the phone to one of her friends an aisle over. She compared her partner, favorably, to a monkey at one point). I returned home, read some of my book, watched some basketball, and generally had a wonderfully relaxing night. I was all set to go a museum in the city with our Honors class at 11:00 this morning.
Things then got progressively worse.
At 11:18, Natalie texted me, asking where I was. This woke me up, as I'd manage to set my alarm for 9:30 PM. I put on pants, literally sprinted across Seton Hall, and end up at the bus station at 11:29, after it had left at 11:27. I then, again, after having just sprinted across campus, without showering or doing anything I normally do upon waking up, proceed to walk down to the train station, get on a train, go into the city, and take a taxi (totally, altogether, about $40 of my own money) to get to the museum at 1:08, just in time for our tour to start at 1:20. You see, the entire reason Ahr was in such a hurry to leave, was that WE HAD TO GET TO THE MUSEUM IN TIME FOR THE 1:20 TOUR. I meet up with everybody (they'd already all gone in) and ask Chris, one of my lunch friends, when they got to the museum. He says about 12:15, and they'd been on the tour for about 50 minutes. Dan: Seriously? Chris: Seriously. Dan: *cursing*. I don't know how, exactly, one can misjudge the time it takes to get somewhere one has been before by 45 minutes on a 45 minute drive, but they'd managed to. This meant I'd managed to make it just in time to see the last 2 pieces of art on the tour. Then it was over, and we had 2.5 hours of "free time" to "hang out" before the bus left at 4:00.
At about 3:00, one other person who had driven there was leaving (Ia), so I grabbed a ride with her instead of wait for the bus to come back. As we were crossing the bridge back into New Jersey, I realized I didn't have my coat with me. After an unsuccessful rescue attempt by Natalie, I'll be going back to the museum next Friday to retrieve my jacket. To recap, at 4:00 I was exhausted, $40 poorer, without a jacket, gross, and had, for my troubles, gained about 10 minutes of guided art-learning. I think I lost.
After sleeping, I managed to actually go eat dinner and go out to see a movie with future roommate/suitemate Mike. This is the first time he's been on campus during the weekend this semester, so we drove a couple towns over and saw I love you, man. If anybody from the Seton Hall administration is listening, for the love of God, LET US HAVE CARS ON CAMPUS. I have two incredible complaints about this university: 1) everybody goes home on the weekends and 2) we can't have cars. Having a car really changes everything. The movie was pretty good, and funny, and vaguely resembled sort of the relationship Mike and I have developed over the past 6 months. Since most of my friends have been primarily female, and certainly those that I talk to on a regular basis (I think all of my blog readers are female, actually), this is sort of... cool. Not like I haven't had guy friends before (Chris Land, Nick Henderson) but, you know, it's nice to have that rapport with somebody you actually live in the same state with. At dinner before the movie, Mike, instead of talking about Monique's ass, talked about how Monique's mother was crazy, which was causing Monique to be crazy, which... it's sort of a long story (and unimportant overall to my blog), but as the semester has gone on, I realize I'm beginning to feel more confident in saying he's actually a legitimately, for the most part, nice individual. Go figure.
That's the fast update. Nothing incredibly profound. I'll try to write more, and about more than just my life play-by-play style, in the future. I love you all.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
An Update (!)
Life has been relatively good in New Jersey. As is always the case, I've got the suite more or less to myself on weekends. Ralph's working at the hospital for $18/hour, Mike Wells is with his high school girlfriend about 45 minutes from here, Tyler's with his high school girlfriend next door (they don't come out much), and Mike S (the one that does karate) is in New Orleans doing, well, karate. The highlights of my weekend have been sleeping 12 hours Friday night after Seton Hall's 3rd straight Big East basketball win (!), going into town this evening to buy some much needed items (was almost out of shampoo, decided to start taking a daily vitamin), and finding 10-12 sources for a paper I will eventually write about Pope Boniface VIII's struggle With King Philip IV the Fair of France over the relationship between religious and secular authority in Europe in in the Medieval ages. Overall my weekend has been much less productive than last weekend, but I also don't have 2 somewhat majors tests occurring this week so it balances out.
For this upcoming week there's not a whole lot going on with classes (we'll have them. There will be Russian vocabulary quizzes. Life will go on). One semi-update in my social life is I'm now in the habit of eating lunches with people (God, even I am beginning to be bored by this blog. And you people wonder why I don't update more). After Honors (Tuesdays and Thursdays) for the last 2 or 3 class periods I've gone to lunch with guys from the class who haven't made appearances on this blog before. One's name is Matt (he's undecided as to a major), Chris Cagna (Criminal Justice major, according to Dr. Booth one of the smartest kids in the honors class last semester with me), and sometimes Charles (African American, Bio Major, Pre Med) and Madhu (Indian, from Tennessee, Diplo major). These lunches have basically involved all the aforementioned, including me, bashing honors for 30-45 minutes. Our honors class is really rather funny. Let me explain.
Last semester, Dr. Booth and Dr. Stark (or, as we refer to them, Freddie and Judy) were our Honors instructors for the Ancient World (Dr. Booth is the Chair of the Classic's department and Dr. Stark is in the Philosophy Department). Class discussions were relatively involved, and it always felt like we were sort of going somewhere. They shared the workload really well, and even if I sometimes shook my head at the content of the class ("how much do we have to read?!") it wasn't a terrible terrible experience. I liked other classes worse. This semester, however, there has been, let's say, a change.
Dr. Peter Ahr (the Honors Program director) teaches this semester's Honors class. Technically Dr. Ines Murzaku (religious studies) is also in the room, but she says, literally, about 5-6 sentences over the course of a 150 minute class (I'm not exaggerating at all. I can provide names of people in the class for verification if requested). This semester we've been told it's important to look at how the people in the texts looked at the world around them, which is fine. But we have this inane... let me give an example. About four class periods ago, we spent, literally, no exaggeration, 45 minutes inferring information from a Chinese rice bowl from the 14th century. Dr. Ahr asks questions and the answer is basically whatever he says it is. There's no progression of the discussion. Typical class exchange: Dr. Ahr, "*Question*", Liam "Answer", Dr. Ahr "Why", Dan "Different Answer", Dr. Ahr "Okay, but why", Matt "Different answer still", Dr. Ahr "No", Kholood "Another answer", Dr. Ahr "Tell me more", Chris "Another answer", Dr. Ahr "Why"... this will continue for literally 5-10 minutes until Dr. Ahr finally decides somebody is right. Occasionally, Dr. Ahr will tell us to "talk amongst ourselves" for five minutes when I'll turn to look at Madhu, Matt, and Charles and confirm that really nobody has any idea what's going on. We've been in class a month now, and I feel like I have absolutely no rapport with either of those instructors. Class discussions devolve into "I wonder what on earth the answer is going to be. Let's all make guesses!" because nobody has any idea what they want. Perhaps this is teaching me to think on a higher level. If it is, it's doing it without my knowledge.
Other than Honors, school has been relatively good. I may or may not be double majoring in Political Science along with International Relations soon. I'm going more and more towards getting a PhD in something politics related. Russian may or may not kill me. My actual International Relations classes (International Conflict and Security, Institutions of Global Governance, and Public International Law) are all excellent and pretty interesting. Dr. He (pronounced "h-uh"), my ICS professor, is in particular interesting. Maybe because it's security studies, which is something that sort of "makes sense" to me, but she does a fabulous job telling us stuff that isn't in the book and just overall running things. It's awesomely fun.
Oh, and back to the lunches point. Mondays and Wednesdays I eat lunch with Mike S. We have a tentative agreement to room together next year if I don't get the Tutor-in-residence thing (you Tutor freshmen that need help 8 hours a week and they pay for your room costs). We talk about sports (Seton Hall and NFL, mainly), classes, various antics, Monique (his girlfriend)'s ass (which he tells me about quite a bit. I smile and nod. Whatever makes you happy dude). Speaking of antics, Monday night was really, really interesting. For some reason, despite the fact that 3 of the 5 suite members have 8:30 AM classes on Tuesday, everybody but me decided to go get White Castle burgers at 1:30 in the morning. At 2:00 AM, Ralph (roommate) and I decided it'd be a good idea to tape their door shut while they were in it. They heard us, ran out of the door, and started shooting silly string into our room. We responded with Lysol, and eventually maple syrup and hand lotion was being flung across the hallway separating the two rooms. It was the most random, fun, "why the hell are we doing this" moment I've had since coming to Seton Hall. Taking the Honors test on 3 1/2 hours of sleep after going to bed at 4:00 AM after cleaning up the hall was less than fun. But it was the most "communal" moment I've had since coming here. I view this as a good thing.
About the TIR, you have to live in a freshman dorm, but still, 8 hours a week for 3.5K/semester isn't bad. I have "group interviews" for that this Friday (I have better than the requisite 3.0 GPA), with "individual interviews" to come next weekend. If that doesn't work out I'm going to attempt to be a desk assistance (minimum wage, but not exactly hard). Unfortunately I missed the application deadline for the tour giving group, but that's what the backup (in this case, backup-backup) plans are for.
In my attempt to get a summer job that's not construction related, I talked to Dr. Martin Edwards in the diplomacy school about possibly doing research over the summer (among other things). He directed me to Seton Hall's SURF (Students Undergraduate Research Fellowships) program, which would pay me $2500 to conduct research on a given topic during July and August. There's an application, of course, and the deadlines for this are due right after spring break, along with a faculty mentor and a two page "research plan". Suffice it to say I've got a lot of work left to do on this, but this actually sounds like a legitimately fun idea for work (since it's something I may or may not spend the rest of my life doing for a living). In my Diplomacy classes right now (in addition to my Medieval Honor's research topic) I'm also going to be conducting research as to how we can solve the problem of landmines killing civilians in the world (thanks for the inspiration, Dr. Rutherford) for IGG and some sort of conflict for ICS that I haven't decided yet (surprise! A research paper about conflict in a class about conflict!). We'll see where that ends up.
Wow, this post turned out to be a lot more productive than I thought it would be. Who knew, right? Normally I'd have some witty way of tying this all together with the title, but there isn't really a "point" to this one. I hope you've enjoyed learning a little bit more about my life. Expect deeper issues as they come up. Thanks for listening.
For this upcoming week there's not a whole lot going on with classes (we'll have them. There will be Russian vocabulary quizzes. Life will go on). One semi-update in my social life is I'm now in the habit of eating lunches with people (God, even I am beginning to be bored by this blog. And you people wonder why I don't update more). After Honors (Tuesdays and Thursdays) for the last 2 or 3 class periods I've gone to lunch with guys from the class who haven't made appearances on this blog before. One's name is Matt (he's undecided as to a major), Chris Cagna (Criminal Justice major, according to Dr. Booth one of the smartest kids in the honors class last semester with me), and sometimes Charles (African American, Bio Major, Pre Med) and Madhu (Indian, from Tennessee, Diplo major). These lunches have basically involved all the aforementioned, including me, bashing honors for 30-45 minutes. Our honors class is really rather funny. Let me explain.
Last semester, Dr. Booth and Dr. Stark (or, as we refer to them, Freddie and Judy) were our Honors instructors for the Ancient World (Dr. Booth is the Chair of the Classic's department and Dr. Stark is in the Philosophy Department). Class discussions were relatively involved, and it always felt like we were sort of going somewhere. They shared the workload really well, and even if I sometimes shook my head at the content of the class ("how much do we have to read?!") it wasn't a terrible terrible experience. I liked other classes worse. This semester, however, there has been, let's say, a change.
Dr. Peter Ahr (the Honors Program director) teaches this semester's Honors class. Technically Dr. Ines Murzaku (religious studies) is also in the room, but she says, literally, about 5-6 sentences over the course of a 150 minute class (I'm not exaggerating at all. I can provide names of people in the class for verification if requested). This semester we've been told it's important to look at how the people in the texts looked at the world around them, which is fine. But we have this inane... let me give an example. About four class periods ago, we spent, literally, no exaggeration, 45 minutes inferring information from a Chinese rice bowl from the 14th century. Dr. Ahr asks questions and the answer is basically whatever he says it is. There's no progression of the discussion. Typical class exchange: Dr. Ahr, "*Question*", Liam "Answer", Dr. Ahr "Why", Dan "Different Answer", Dr. Ahr "Okay, but why", Matt "Different answer still", Dr. Ahr "No", Kholood "Another answer", Dr. Ahr "Tell me more", Chris "Another answer", Dr. Ahr "Why"... this will continue for literally 5-10 minutes until Dr. Ahr finally decides somebody is right. Occasionally, Dr. Ahr will tell us to "talk amongst ourselves" for five minutes when I'll turn to look at Madhu, Matt, and Charles and confirm that really nobody has any idea what's going on. We've been in class a month now, and I feel like I have absolutely no rapport with either of those instructors. Class discussions devolve into "I wonder what on earth the answer is going to be. Let's all make guesses!" because nobody has any idea what they want. Perhaps this is teaching me to think on a higher level. If it is, it's doing it without my knowledge.
Other than Honors, school has been relatively good. I may or may not be double majoring in Political Science along with International Relations soon. I'm going more and more towards getting a PhD in something politics related. Russian may or may not kill me. My actual International Relations classes (International Conflict and Security, Institutions of Global Governance, and Public International Law) are all excellent and pretty interesting. Dr. He (pronounced "h-uh"), my ICS professor, is in particular interesting. Maybe because it's security studies, which is something that sort of "makes sense" to me, but she does a fabulous job telling us stuff that isn't in the book and just overall running things. It's awesomely fun.
Oh, and back to the lunches point. Mondays and Wednesdays I eat lunch with Mike S. We have a tentative agreement to room together next year if I don't get the Tutor-in-residence thing (you Tutor freshmen that need help 8 hours a week and they pay for your room costs). We talk about sports (Seton Hall and NFL, mainly), classes, various antics, Monique (his girlfriend)'s ass (which he tells me about quite a bit. I smile and nod. Whatever makes you happy dude). Speaking of antics, Monday night was really, really interesting. For some reason, despite the fact that 3 of the 5 suite members have 8:30 AM classes on Tuesday, everybody but me decided to go get White Castle burgers at 1:30 in the morning. At 2:00 AM, Ralph (roommate) and I decided it'd be a good idea to tape their door shut while they were in it. They heard us, ran out of the door, and started shooting silly string into our room. We responded with Lysol, and eventually maple syrup and hand lotion was being flung across the hallway separating the two rooms. It was the most random, fun, "why the hell are we doing this" moment I've had since coming to Seton Hall. Taking the Honors test on 3 1/2 hours of sleep after going to bed at 4:00 AM after cleaning up the hall was less than fun. But it was the most "communal" moment I've had since coming here. I view this as a good thing.
About the TIR, you have to live in a freshman dorm, but still, 8 hours a week for 3.5K/semester isn't bad. I have "group interviews" for that this Friday (I have better than the requisite 3.0 GPA), with "individual interviews" to come next weekend. If that doesn't work out I'm going to attempt to be a desk assistance (minimum wage, but not exactly hard). Unfortunately I missed the application deadline for the tour giving group, but that's what the backup (in this case, backup-backup) plans are for.
In my attempt to get a summer job that's not construction related, I talked to Dr. Martin Edwards in the diplomacy school about possibly doing research over the summer (among other things). He directed me to Seton Hall's SURF (Students Undergraduate Research Fellowships) program, which would pay me $2500 to conduct research on a given topic during July and August. There's an application, of course, and the deadlines for this are due right after spring break, along with a faculty mentor and a two page "research plan". Suffice it to say I've got a lot of work left to do on this, but this actually sounds like a legitimately fun idea for work (since it's something I may or may not spend the rest of my life doing for a living). In my Diplomacy classes right now (in addition to my Medieval Honor's research topic) I'm also going to be conducting research as to how we can solve the problem of landmines killing civilians in the world (thanks for the inspiration, Dr. Rutherford) for IGG and some sort of conflict for ICS that I haven't decided yet (surprise! A research paper about conflict in a class about conflict!). We'll see where that ends up.
Wow, this post turned out to be a lot more productive than I thought it would be. Who knew, right? Normally I'd have some witty way of tying this all together with the title, but there isn't really a "point" to this one. I hope you've enjoyed learning a little bit more about my life. Expect deeper issues as they come up. Thanks for listening.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
A farewell to the president
*Note: if you click on one link in this article, make it the Times of London story at the end*
*Further note: hyperlinks apparently don't work on this website. I apologize for the necessity of copy/pasting those links which you all wish to read.*
With only 72 hours until the inauguration of Barack Obama, I thought it fitting to write a sort of send off post to President Bush (who, like Nick Ramsey, has never heard of this blog). Such an endeavor is highly complicated when one sits down to write, however, because how can one capture the full sentiment and feeling of the past eight years? There are many major moments or events that stand out in the Bush presidency, primarily in my mind the response to the 9/11 attacks (up to and including the decision to pursue regime change in Iraq), the response to Hurricane Katrina, and the current recession. While President Bush has accomplished much in office (most of which, although not President Bush's astonishingly positive record in Africa [http://blogs.usatoday.com/oped/2008/11/bushs-record-in.html], is listed out in detail in this article by Counselor to George W Bush Ed Gillespie http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2008/12/myths_and_facts_about_the_real.html) his presidency, I believe, will be defined by his view and action toward the major issues of his presidency. Chief among those, the day where everything (at least appeared to) change, is 9/11.
Like most of us, I remember where I was on 9/11. I was in the 6th grade at Carl Junction Intermediate School. When the first plane hit I was participating in a bus evacuation drill before coming to school. When the second plane hit I was outside playing flag football during PE. Upon returning to home room, Ms. Jordan (she's been married since then) and other teachers were huddled around a television showing smoke spewing from the World Trade Center. Confused, I asked if the buildings were scheduled for demolition. Ms. Jordan responded that there had been a terrorist attack. The principle quickly made the decision that 4th-6th graders were too young to be exposed to the defining moment of their childhood and ordered all televisions and radios tuned off; the attacks were not to be mentioned or discussed. In history class, before Mrs. Campbell arrived (probably still catching the last few updates of the attacks before the censorship took effect), I remember sitting next to my friend Aaron Cervin (pronounced Ser-VEEN) and discussing what had happened. If America was attacked, we reasoned, war would follow. I remember, in the days that followed, my mom telling me how glad she was that Al Gore wasn't president (although it turns out it might not have made much difference according to this article http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/fullcomment/archive/2008/12/23/kelly-mcparland-would-gore-have-invaded-iraq-unquestionably-suggests-new-study.aspx) One thing was clear: we'd make somebody pay for the attacks. Now more than seven years later, we're still at war on that principle, with action in Afghanistan not looking like it will be winding down any time soon.
President Bush's response in the coming days and weeks, exemplified by the impromptu speech given to the workers and firefighters at Ground Zero on September 14 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiSwqaQ4VbA), gave him one of the highest approval ratings since Gallup began keeping track at 90% (http://www.gallup.com/poll/113641/Despite-Recent-Lows-Bush-Approval-Average-Midrange.aspx). However (as we all know) the months and years that followed would not be so kind. There were many reasons for going to war with Iraq but the administration chose to push the Weapons of Mass Destruction angle, one that, in hindsight, appears to not have existed since shortly after 1991 (whether or not Saddam was pursuing WMD is another matter, but most Americans expected them to be found in stockpiles). The situation in post-war Iraq was terrible. Ineptitude and the disbanding of the Iraqi army led to a large armed, unemployed, and angry populace with an invading army occupying the country. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld's response to the looting of priceless Iraqi museums in Baghdad with "stuff happens" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY9l73Yo9Pw) followed by an obviously ill advised "Mission Accomplished" banner (not pictured in this clip, but an excerpt from the speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFijzDyJnVE) typified the Bush administration's seemingly uncaring policy toward the Iraqis and later, during Hurricane Katrina, to US citizens. As Iraq descended into civil war, Americans further questioned our reason for being in that country and, although historically the number of American casualties were low, the price we were paying to maintain our presence.
However, President Bush, against the advice of most of his advisers and generals, authored a surge of US forces into Iraq in an attempt to quell the violence. While debate remains about the role those additional troops actually played in securing the country (versus the Sunni Awakening or new tactics executed by General Petraeus) 2008 saw the United States combat troop deaths fall by 66% (http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/meast/12/30/iraq.main/) while the United States government agreed to a phased withdrawal (or timetable) from Iraqi cities by summer and Iraq as a whole by the end of 2011. Meanwhile, however, Afghanistan is slipping further into chaos as the resurgent Taliban operate with impunity out of Pakistan. The economy has, to make an understatement, seen better days. Now, in under 72 hours, the world will watch as Barack Hussein Obama states his full name as he takes the oath of office on Abraham Lincoln's bible (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/12/23/obama-lincoln-bible-for-i_n_153052.html), and most of the world will be glad to see and hear from George W Bush no more.
I do not believe George W Bush to be an evil or uncaring man. Even Bush's record on his defining moment, 9/11, is mixed. On one hand, Osama bin Laden still remains free, probably somewhere in Pakistan. On the other hand, the American homeland has not suffered another terrorist attack after that Tuesday morning, when if one were to say that there would be no more attacks on September 12 the listener would probably think you were hopelessly naive. After 9/11, I think President Bush's vision for our country's future, for freedom in Afghanistan, Iraq, and the greater Middle East all in the interests of America's security, were more than admirable goals. However, sadly, Bush's idealistic version of the world has proven more complicated than he appears to have expected. Like Woodrow Wilson found when speaking of self-determination, the democratization of a people, country, or region, is a long and complex process if one can even influence it from the outside at all. This article, by Gerard Baker in the Times of London (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/gerard_baker/article5526323.ece) sums up best what I think the world will believe about President Bush in the future. He certainly had great aspirations for America's place in the world after 9/11. We are all the worse that his vision could not be realized in full.
Farewell, Mr. President. Thank you for your service.
*Further note: hyperlinks apparently don't work on this website. I apologize for the necessity of copy/pasting those links which you all wish to read.*
With only 72 hours until the inauguration of Barack Obama, I thought it fitting to write a sort of send off post to President Bush (who, like Nick Ramsey, has never heard of this blog). Such an endeavor is highly complicated when one sits down to write, however, because how can one capture the full sentiment and feeling of the past eight years? There are many major moments or events that stand out in the Bush presidency, primarily in my mind the response to the 9/11 attacks (up to and including the decision to pursue regime change in Iraq), the response to Hurricane Katrina, and the current recession. While President Bush has accomplished much in office (most of which, although not President Bush's astonishingly positive record in Africa [http://blogs.usatoday.com/oped/2008/11/bushs-record-in.html], is listed out in detail in this article by Counselor to George W Bush Ed Gillespie http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2008/12/myths_and_facts_about_the_real.html) his presidency, I believe, will be defined by his view and action toward the major issues of his presidency. Chief among those, the day where everything (at least appeared to) change, is 9/11.
Like most of us, I remember where I was on 9/11. I was in the 6th grade at Carl Junction Intermediate School. When the first plane hit I was participating in a bus evacuation drill before coming to school. When the second plane hit I was outside playing flag football during PE. Upon returning to home room, Ms. Jordan (she's been married since then) and other teachers were huddled around a television showing smoke spewing from the World Trade Center. Confused, I asked if the buildings were scheduled for demolition. Ms. Jordan responded that there had been a terrorist attack. The principle quickly made the decision that 4th-6th graders were too young to be exposed to the defining moment of their childhood and ordered all televisions and radios tuned off; the attacks were not to be mentioned or discussed. In history class, before Mrs. Campbell arrived (probably still catching the last few updates of the attacks before the censorship took effect), I remember sitting next to my friend Aaron Cervin (pronounced Ser-VEEN) and discussing what had happened. If America was attacked, we reasoned, war would follow. I remember, in the days that followed, my mom telling me how glad she was that Al Gore wasn't president (although it turns out it might not have made much difference according to this article http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/fullcomment/archive/2008/12/23/kelly-mcparland-would-gore-have-invaded-iraq-unquestionably-suggests-new-study.aspx) One thing was clear: we'd make somebody pay for the attacks. Now more than seven years later, we're still at war on that principle, with action in Afghanistan not looking like it will be winding down any time soon.
President Bush's response in the coming days and weeks, exemplified by the impromptu speech given to the workers and firefighters at Ground Zero on September 14 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiSwqaQ4VbA), gave him one of the highest approval ratings since Gallup began keeping track at 90% (http://www.gallup.com/poll/113641/Despite-Recent-Lows-Bush-Approval-Average-Midrange.aspx). However (as we all know) the months and years that followed would not be so kind. There were many reasons for going to war with Iraq but the administration chose to push the Weapons of Mass Destruction angle, one that, in hindsight, appears to not have existed since shortly after 1991 (whether or not Saddam was pursuing WMD is another matter, but most Americans expected them to be found in stockpiles). The situation in post-war Iraq was terrible. Ineptitude and the disbanding of the Iraqi army led to a large armed, unemployed, and angry populace with an invading army occupying the country. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld's response to the looting of priceless Iraqi museums in Baghdad with "stuff happens" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY9l73Yo9Pw) followed by an obviously ill advised "Mission Accomplished" banner (not pictured in this clip, but an excerpt from the speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFijzDyJnVE) typified the Bush administration's seemingly uncaring policy toward the Iraqis and later, during Hurricane Katrina, to US citizens. As Iraq descended into civil war, Americans further questioned our reason for being in that country and, although historically the number of American casualties were low, the price we were paying to maintain our presence.
However, President Bush, against the advice of most of his advisers and generals, authored a surge of US forces into Iraq in an attempt to quell the violence. While debate remains about the role those additional troops actually played in securing the country (versus the Sunni Awakening or new tactics executed by General Petraeus) 2008 saw the United States combat troop deaths fall by 66% (http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/meast/12/30/iraq.main/) while the United States government agreed to a phased withdrawal (or timetable) from Iraqi cities by summer and Iraq as a whole by the end of 2011. Meanwhile, however, Afghanistan is slipping further into chaos as the resurgent Taliban operate with impunity out of Pakistan. The economy has, to make an understatement, seen better days. Now, in under 72 hours, the world will watch as Barack Hussein Obama states his full name as he takes the oath of office on Abraham Lincoln's bible (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/12/23/obama-lincoln-bible-for-i_n_153052.html), and most of the world will be glad to see and hear from George W Bush no more.
I do not believe George W Bush to be an evil or uncaring man. Even Bush's record on his defining moment, 9/11, is mixed. On one hand, Osama bin Laden still remains free, probably somewhere in Pakistan. On the other hand, the American homeland has not suffered another terrorist attack after that Tuesday morning, when if one were to say that there would be no more attacks on September 12 the listener would probably think you were hopelessly naive. After 9/11, I think President Bush's vision for our country's future, for freedom in Afghanistan, Iraq, and the greater Middle East all in the interests of America's security, were more than admirable goals. However, sadly, Bush's idealistic version of the world has proven more complicated than he appears to have expected. Like Woodrow Wilson found when speaking of self-determination, the democratization of a people, country, or region, is a long and complex process if one can even influence it from the outside at all. This article, by Gerard Baker in the Times of London (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/gerard_baker/article5526323.ece) sums up best what I think the world will believe about President Bush in the future. He certainly had great aspirations for America's place in the world after 9/11. We are all the worse that his vision could not be realized in full.
Farewell, Mr. President. Thank you for your service.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Books read in 2008
Listed in alphabetical order by author's last name.
*disclaimer: books read for school are not included on this list*
1. Why We’re Liberals: A Political Handbook for Post-Bush America by Eric Alterman
2. Jennifer Government by Max Berry
3. Our Endangered Values: America’s Moral Crisis by Jimmy Carter
4. Dead Certain: The Presidency of George W. Bush by Robert Draper
5. Comeback: Conservatism That Can Win Again by David Frum
6. When Every Moment Counts: What You Need to Know About Bioterrorism from the Senate’s Only Doctor by Bill Frist
7. 100 Myths About the Middle East by Fred Halliday
8. Cheney: The Untold Story of America’s Most Powerful and Controversial Vice President by Stephen F. Hayes
9. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
10. In Defense of the Bush Doctrine by Robert Kaufman
11. After Bush: The Case for Continuity in American Foreign Policy by Timothy J Lynch and Robert S. Singh
12. The Faith of George W Bush by Stephen Mansfield
13. Worth the Fighting For: A Memoir by John McCain and Mark Salter
14. World War IV: The Long Struggle Against Islamofascism by Norman Podhoretz
15. Freedom’s Power: The True Force of Liberalism by Paul Starr
16. The Conservative Soul: Fundamentalism, Freedom, and the Future of the Right by Andrew Sullivan
17. The Post-American World by Fareed Zakaria
*disclaimer: books read for school are not included on this list*
1. Why We’re Liberals: A Political Handbook for Post-Bush America by Eric Alterman
2. Jennifer Government by Max Berry
3. Our Endangered Values: America’s Moral Crisis by Jimmy Carter
4. Dead Certain: The Presidency of George W. Bush by Robert Draper
5. Comeback: Conservatism That Can Win Again by David Frum
6. When Every Moment Counts: What You Need to Know About Bioterrorism from the Senate’s Only Doctor by Bill Frist
7. 100 Myths About the Middle East by Fred Halliday
8. Cheney: The Untold Story of America’s Most Powerful and Controversial Vice President by Stephen F. Hayes
9. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
10. In Defense of the Bush Doctrine by Robert Kaufman
11. After Bush: The Case for Continuity in American Foreign Policy by Timothy J Lynch and Robert S. Singh
12. The Faith of George W Bush by Stephen Mansfield
13. Worth the Fighting For: A Memoir by John McCain and Mark Salter
14. World War IV: The Long Struggle Against Islamofascism by Norman Podhoretz
15. Freedom’s Power: The True Force of Liberalism by Paul Starr
16. The Conservative Soul: Fundamentalism, Freedom, and the Future of the Right by Andrew Sullivan
17. The Post-American World by Fareed Zakaria
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