I'm up for an emotional one night stand

(To clarify the title, that's an emotional one night stand as distinguished from a physical one night stand, not a physical one night stand filled with emotions.)

So it occurs to me that I don't have very many friends. While this certainly isn't a shocking realization, it really hit home when I logged onto facebook this evening after an 11.5 hour day at work (more on that in a second), checked who was online, and actually briefly considered talking to Anisha Rimal before realizing, wait, why on earth would I talk to Anisha Rimal? Answer: I have nobody better to talk to. This is a somewhat, but not altogether, depressing realization. I mean, given the circumstances of me being in New Jersey, sans any significant other to speak of, after freshman year of college when most of my classmates are in their hometowns, chilling with their parents, lifeguarding, catering, waitressing, or doing other "normal" jobs like that (like I'd be working in the mall if I was in Missouri), it's not like I'm a huge priority on most of my guy friends' "to visit" lists. Despite going to a school of "international relations and diplomacy", I have found that whenever events occur in the diplomatic or political world, I primarily discuss them with people back home or my parents. After a year at Seton Hall, albeit a below average year, I don't think I've really found anybody I've "clicked" with yet.

One person I have actually clicked with was (is?) my roommate last year. Great guy named Ralph Pepe, who lives about 30 minutes from here. Due to costs he transferred out of Seton Hall (it's expensive if you've decided to be a police officer), but last Friday he randomly drove me to see his house, his new college, his town, where he works, grab dinner and DQ... all in all it was a relatively fun time. During the course of our conversation, we managed to discuss how much Seton Hall sucks, how life/summer was going in general, our respective female situations, you know, normal stuff. Along the way, Ralph made the fascinating claim that almost everybody I knew or was sorta friends with was incredibly, totally crazy. And the funny thing is... he's right. Due to being unable to name names on this blog (more people at least have the potential to read it now than used to, and I don't want to name names that would result in me gaining even less social standing than I already possess), suffice it to say that the majority of my ex girlfriends, a significant minority, if not majority, of people I am relatively okay friends with now, and probably, given my luck, a good 50-60% of the people I've yet to meet have some serious mental trauma or issues in their past (hereafter referred to as "baggage"). All of this begs the question: is it them, me, or... what? Why do I seem to be able to find and relate to normal people? Am I boring, or do I find them boring (I find a lot of people boring...)? Do I attract people that are looking for stability in their lives, or do I attract people who the normal people have already rejected because they're too unstable? Will I keep asking unanswerable rhetorical questions? (Answer: no).

I was taking a "what ethnicity should you date" quiz on facebook yesterday (new low, I know) and it told me I should date asians. Why? (Bear with me, I SWEAR all of this has a point. Don't exit! Don't!) Because, according to the quiz, I'm attracted to quiet, small, intelligent, studious people. This is probably a fairly accurate description of who I would be attracted to, but I don't think I actually know ANYBODY (female) who fits that description. I mean, I'm not super incredibly nerdy or super political active in a "Bush/Obama/Gordon Brown must DIE" way, so most of the super nerdy or super politically active girls are all over there on the left with the likeminded fellows (that's right, I used "fellows"). Then over here on the right we have all the ambitious, I'm going to make something of myself type women. Too bad they're so ambitious they're not dating anybody, or if they are, they're just fucking them. Since I'm so totally amazing at one night stands (see title), naturally we get along really well (obvious sarcasm here). In the middle we have all the normal people (boring), so I'm left to randomly wander around in the forward or back parts of life looking for somebody who I can even have intelligent conversations with. (It strikes me that this turned into a "why I'm not dating somebody" instead of a "why don't I have friends" post. Dammit. Okay, well, all of this applies to friends too.) I mean, would I even be friends with myself if I didn't know me? I talk a lot in class, have in depth discussions with teachers, generally keep to myself afterwards... I mean, I'd be my friend. I just haven't found the equivalent of Nick Henderson out here yet (well, I have sort of, but he's found a girl he's going to be engaged to soon or something. Also, notice how I managed to swing this topic back into the friendship rather than dating realm). There's just nobody in any of my classes that makes intelligent points that isn't a) two years older than me, b) extremely liberal, or c) commutes and is probably dating some 25 year old (or is ambitious and doesn't touch relationships - or, as a sidenote, is going to be in an arranged marriage. No lie). Long story short, it's difficult (relatively) being me.

One of the other reasons it's somewhat difficult being me is that I worked 11.5 hours at work today. I'd blog all about it (really exciting stuff going on), but I signed an agreement that says I can't. So you'll have to trust me, it's really freaking exciting. I could potentially be going to Africa 2-3 times between now and January (again, potentially) and things are moving really fast. Lots of time intensive, deadline specific stuff needs to get done in the next 7 days and I'm pretty much one of the only interns that can be in to do it. This means that I get a lot of learning experience, a little bit of responsibility, and maybe even some well-likedness, but it sort of sucks having relatively nobody to share this with that's in the same boat as me. One of the reasons that I don't really mind working that much is that it sorta gives meaning to what I'm doing out here. I don't do a ton of stuff just "for fun" really, so it's a heck of a lot better than just sitting at home playing music until I fall asleep. I wonder if law is in my future. Apparently being a lawyer requires 60-70 hour weeks, and after putting in a 50 or so hour one, I know that they could probably get really old, really fast. Especially when/if I actually have a significant other and, who knows, maybe a couple of kids... I don't know that I'd want them growing up almost without me for that long. But then again, ambition calls, and my quest to do something worthwhile with my life once again tells me to push onward, work harder, achieve more, and worry about the women when I find a short, intelligent, quiet, studious, and apparently asian one.

Sadly, I don't really have a good ending point for this blog post.